Week One!!!! Updates

I am now on Day 10 of my Addiction Free Diet Experiment, but let's round off Week 1 first.

I left you off on Day 6, where I felt great and already seeing and feeling wonderful results. On Day 7, I had plans to hang out with my two friends, Robin and Leif. We were planning to go out to lunch and I was undecided about what to eat. While Leif will eat just about anything and Robin is used to me and my vegan ways AND enjoys vegan food in general, I felt like I'd be a party-pooper if I made us go somewhere just to get a side salad. So I deliberated for awhile; I was already feeling really good and felt in control so I kind of wanted to eat something tasty and fun without worrying about whether it followed my Addiction Free principles 100%. Then again, I told myself I would try this for at least two weeks. But I was in a calm, peaceful state, knowing that whatever happened, even if I went off the deep end, I could always pick myself back up again.

We ended up going to this delicious Pho restaurant on Broadway called Pho 99 and it turns out they have amazing vegan pho (the best veggie pho I've had) along with a small vegan section included on their menu. They even had fresh young coconut juice served right out of the coconut with a straw and spoon! So that's what Robin and I both ordered, while Leif tried the chicken pho for the first time. I felt really healthy, even though I ate my entire bowl and despite the fact that I was violating the following principles: Raw till dinner (it was a late lunch), no refined foods (I'm pretty sure the noodles are white rice as opposed to brown and I had my share of hot sauce and hoisin sauce), and eat only until satisfied (I could have stopped about 2/3 through my bowl). But since these are my own principles, and they were violated in a peaceful, joyous state, I didn't feel guilty or like a failure.

After our lunch, Robin and I hung out at my house. We were bored and I was feeling a little snacky (no matter how much pho I eat, I'm always hungry one or two hours later!), but not hungry enough for a full dinner. I was craving goji berries and Kombucha and thought it would be nice to just chill and have a fun little relaxing snack and watch a movie. As much as I love hanging out with my friends doing anything, I have to admit that I have the most fun when I'm EATING with friends (I know, that's not the best mentality or food-association for a recovering food addict, but it's true.) So that brought us to PCC. The first unexpected thing that happened is I stumbled upon Nana's cookies- these vegan, ultra healthy, no refined sugar (fruit juice sweetened), some gluten free, all whole grain cookies that I read about on the Skinny Bitch website. I was really excited to find them and, with a wee bit of giddy guilt, decided I would just enjoy a "fun day" where I would allow myself some healthy treats in celebration of being social and having fun with friends. But then it went a step too far when we decided to also make stove popped popcorn (I'd never made my own popcorn before and Robin was gonna show me how).

So we went back to my house, made a HUGE bowl of popcorn covered in salt, vegan butter, and nutritional yeast (VERY delicious), watched a movie, ate my cookie, drank my Kombucha, and then went to town devouring an entire CUP of goji berries. I actually felt perfect until I ate all those goji's. They definitely made for an improper food combination, and I SHOULD have pre-measured them into a very small serving. I just wasn't expecting to eat the entire 1 cup serving that I had bought. But my lesson was learned: even if I think I won't eat a large amount, I might...or more likely WILL...unless I pre-measure. Especially if I'm snacking while watching tv or a movie. Sheesh. I should have known better.

So after this, I was feeling a little guilty and disappointed in myself. I took one step off the path, then another, then another until I was overeating all over again. But this time I did something different. I stopped the self-loathing. I got out pen and paper and wrote affirmations. I wrote all the things that I want to be true, all the things that make me feel good about myself. I wrote things like: I DO have control over my eating, I DO make the best decisions for my life, my health and my body, I have the perfect body, I am healthy, happy, and full of joy, I am full of life force energy. By the time the page was filled up, I felt great. I didn't even feel too over-full anymore. Most importantly, I changed my energy from negative and destructive to positive. If I can remember all the things I've learned throughout my life about the power of the mind and the 'Law of Attraction,' I should know that it's really there in the mind that the problems or solutions lie. Addiction is in the mind. Mind-cravings can be overcome. The mind can be made to become quiet. I can eat what I desire and feel good about it- especially if I eat foods that I know are pure, healthy, and life-force generating.

So there ends my Week 1.

-Experiment Experience Summary: End of week weight: 114.5 lbs (very low for me!). Although I did not follow my principles and rules 100%, I overcame all obstacles. Overall, a VERY positive experience. I can see myself eating this way for the majority of my days, and then also experiencing days like Day 7 (minus the overeating at the end of the night.) I am developing more peace and clarity every day.
-Groceries Spent (Day 1 - Day 7): appx. $59 ($47 necessities/$12 unnecessary snacks)(Robin bought my lunch at Pho, but that probably cost about $10 max.)

Now today is Day 10. For the sake of not being redundant, I'm not going to give a summary of everything I'm eating this week. I'm still following my principles (eating mostly raw, not eating until hungry, etc.) and I'm still on a budget and trying to buy only what I need. My weight is pretty stable, 114/115.5 and my body feels good.

On Monday (Day 8), I had a little uh-oh with half a bar of chocolate that I've been hiding from myself. It was a revealing moment, showing me just how similar food-addictions are to drug and alcohol addictions. If you have it in the house, you will eat it/use it/drink it. I didn't want the chocolate at all last week, but then I got a tiny craving, remembered it was there, and ate it "so I could just get it out of the house already and not have to think about it anymore." It was a truly pathetic and low thing for me to do, and I knew it. So I wrote affirmations, reminded myself I have control and can always transform my body and mind with the next choice I make, and moved on. Yesterday, Day 9, went perfect. I had an all-raw day (I was pretty stuffed from that chocolate) with lots of fruit, an avocado, a raw snack bar, and a big, raw salad. I even took a nice long walk to Westwood village. I'll probably take another long walk there today, just for fun. Also, Robin and I are trying to have a Food/Movie night once a week, similar to last Sunday. It will be really nice if we can stick to it, because I rarely hang out with friends unless my band is playing a show or there's something truly extravagant to do. It will be fun to make a new yummy (healthy) recipe every week and watch some new movies. Sometimes I feel like a hermit :( I don't try to be, but I don't mind being alone, peaceful, reading, writing, so I tend to come off as a little anti-social...especially since the biggest, most popular social activity is drinking and I don't drink. Anyhow, tonight is this week's Food/Movie night and we are making fresh spring rolls and avocado/cucumber/brown rice sushi. YUM!

A new development for this week is that I'm focusing on balancing my own health with the health and happiness of my boyfriend, Brian. Last year, there was a time when we would always go shopping together and I would find meals we could both eat like curry and rice, pasta, veggie burritos (I would just add meat to his curry or cheese to his burrito, etc, to make it more enjoyable for him) with a big salad or steamed veggies on the side. We would shop at places like Trader Joes (very affordable, lots of vegan and healthy options for the most part) and I would make our dinners every night and then I would pack Brian a healthy, balanced lunch to take to work in the morning (salad, a sandwich, veggie chips, etc.) He told me he missed eating this way, and I realize I do miss cooking for both of us and we do save a lot of money when we share common items. The foods aren't quite as fresh or 'perfect' (eating canned curry, canned vegan chili, etc, instead of making it from scratch) but right now, that is what will fit into my budget. And that's all I ask of myself. Doing my best to benefit my health while remaining within my budget, living a life of happiness and freedom.

Looking forward to a wonderful week! Lots of joy!