Today's reflections of food and life

Oh man, have I ever enjoyed that cheesecake these past 3 days! I have to admit something...each day I had TWO slices for dessert! Now that I've been careful not to eat until I'm truly hungry, which usually doesn't happen until after 10am, I haven't been eating too much to the point where I'm explodingly full after dessert so I don't feel guilty. I've been semi careful about food combining throughout the day, knowing that the fresh fruit and nut combo of my dessert is not a perfect combination. For the past few days my menu has looked like this: Between 10am and 1pm- Green Juice (a combo of kale, celery, spinach, apple, and lemon). 30 minutes to 1 hour later- a pear and/or apple. around 4pm- BIG salad with salad greens, cucumber, red bell pepper, tomato, sweet onion, candied walnuts (recipe from Raw Food Real World by Matthew Kenney and Sarma Melngailis) and raisins. Dessert (after my dinner starts to digest and there's room in my tummy)- two slices (spread throughout an hour usually) of the Strawberry White Chocolate Cheesecake.

I have really enjoyed this menu but I know it's time for me to lighten up with the dense foods for a bit. Listening to my body, I understand that it is best to alternate dense food days with cleansing food days if I am going to be eating dense foods at all. Last night, after eating my veggie-nut-raisin salad I immediately ate a slice of the cheesecake, since I was on my way out the door to band practice. I wasn't hungry yet and didn't necessarily want to eat it, but the mental craving was telling me I would have to wait until after practice to eat dessert! It was a BIG mistake. Since my tummy was still full from the salad, I had a major digestive upset. My stomach hurt SO bad! I could barely drive to practice and then I made us rush through our set so I could go home and recover. Once I had passed my digestive pains I had, of course, my second slice of the cheesecake. But after that I promised I would give myself a break and eat a light, cleansing meal. That's the magic of raw foods; there are huge, gourmet, filling meals that taste amazing along with light, fresh, pure, cleanising meals that...taste amazing too!

So tonight I'm making some sort of Spring Rolls. Most of the recipes I have call for a delicious thai almond butter sauce either for dipping or in the rolls. But, not only am I trying to eat light tonight, but I am also on a budget (I missed some days of work due to the snow, so my check wasn't too good!) and raw organic almond butter is very expensive. So I've made my own little concoction in my head. I usually use collard greens for my rolls, but Whole Foods was out today so I got some green chard. I've never used chard before, so I'm interested to see how it does as a wrap. I'll be stuffng the chard with sliced veggies: avacado, carrot, daikon radish (another first-time veggie), red bell pepper, bean sprouts, cilantro, basil, green onion, and shiitake mushrooms marinated in sesame oil and nama shoyu. I might make some sort of mango dipping sauce or I might dip in wasabe infused nama shoyu. As a side, I'll be making Raw Cream of Tomato Soup from Raw Food Life Force Energy. I've also made Liquid Gold Elixir salad dressing to put on Simple Cabbage Coleslaw, both recipes from The Raw Food Detox Diet. I'm not sure if I will eat the coleslaw with my meal today or just make it tomorrow. And for dessert, since I ALWAYS want dessert? I'm not sure. I still have some Green and Blacks 70% chocolate. Or I have some frozen bananas that I can make into a quick raw ice cream. We'll see. But I'm hoping to give my body a break from the delicious-but-dense cheesecake for at least tonight.

An update on my weight: I have been at a steady 116 for about a week now! I'd like to be a steady 115, or even better, a steady 110, but that would take a committment to working out more often, I think. While my body can only lose so much fat on mostly-raw diet alone, there are a few places my body could use toning and strengthening. My boyfriend, Brian, got the Wii Fit for Christmas, and it's really fun, except I haven't used it more than once. Maybe I'll use it tomorrow, since I have the day off. I just prefer to exercise outdoors, walking or sometimes jogging. The weather has been so terrible that I haven't wanted to walk, either! Every once in a while, I use my apartment's gym treadmill. The only thing I do daily is an average of 8 sun salute repetitions (I do them as I learned from Deepack Chopra's Perfect Health.) I would really l ike to get a more thorough exercise routine going. I've been thinking about joining some sort of yoga or dance class. Most appealing is a bellydancing class taught at Seattle's Academy of Burlesque. I know I could get at least one friend to join me for that! If I had my way, I would take the entire Burlesque Course, but I'd have to save up some funds for that.

Other updates: I'm still thinking about what I want to do with my future. I'm 25 and I still feel young and alive, but I know that I could be (and am) following a path that truly expresses my ultimate desires and passions. I'm glad that I got out of the dead-end career of being a professional personal housecleaner. I made significantly more than I do now, but it was not what I wanted to do with my life. I felt so stuck. I was bored. I was stressed about saving money to pay self-employment taxes. I had to suffer from no income when the family I cleaned for went out of town on vacation. When I quit my cleaning job so I could go to Europe, I knew I was going to come home and have to start fresh. I had been offered a job at Starbucks before I left, and accepted when I returned. It had been a long time since I had worked for any kind of company, and it was a nice change to work with people again and get regular paychecks. The environment is great, I love the people I work with, and all the leadership and customer service skills I am learning. But, being totally honest with myself, a Starbucks career is not what I want with the rest of my life--especially since I don't drink coffee or eat pastries! I know there is something else for me. Of course, these skills I am learning will be essential, so I am incredibly grateful for them.

So what do I want to do? After being reunited with raw foods, I wanted to follow Natalia Rose's example and go to college to learn to become a nutritionist. While this path is still in my mind, I am uncertain as to whether it is the best course for me. I know I want to help people and share my passion and experience and knowledge with others. I know I want to introduce raw foods to others and show people the health and beauty of raw foods. But obtaining my degree in holistic nutrition will be a long and expensive road, if I am to attend Bastyr, which would be my ideal. But I've heard from some people who have gotten their degrees that were never able to start a practice because they were too far in debt with student loans.

So what else is there for me if I decide not to pursue the nutrtionist path? I'm constantly asking the universe for guidance in discovering the right opportunities. Other possibilities I've thought about are: starting a small raw business, making raw goodies and catering, selling them at markets and online; or I could just get a job somewhere that sells nutrition products and raw foods like Whole Foods Market or Chaco Canyon. But that's still just a fraction of expressing my passion and not something I want to do with my life. So what do I really want? I would love to open up my own restaurant/cafe/juice bar. I am intimidated by this idea because it seems so challenging and scary and i know nothing of opening restaurants. But, ever since I was younger, I have played with the idea of opening a restaurant. My first concept was a coffee shop. Then, when I went vegan, I wanted to open a vegan bakery/cafe/restaurant with a rock n roll atmosphere and maybe sell records and clothes in an adjoining section of the store. Then, upon discovering a few family recipes from my Filipino heritage, I wanted to open a vegan restaurant with a tropical/Filipino-food-inspired menu. While all those past ideas are still appealing, and I could still incorporate pieces of them into my new vision, I'm starting to envision this: A raw restaurant/cafe/juice bar with a menu that provides a mix of Raw Groumet/Comfort Foods and also some more cleansing, light dishes. There would definitely be a large dessert menu, smoothie and juice bar, and herbal teas. Maybe organic wine? The atmosphere would be clean, bright, inviting, fun, and elegant all at once. Asian/international inspired decor. I can almost see it.

Of course, I still have the fantasy novel I'm writing, which I hope to make into a trilogy. Do I have a problem that I am maybe a little too ambitious? There's so much I can do, and so much I want to do. But hey, who's to say I can't do it? You can only limit yourself. I'm open to the infinite possibilities that life gives!