More fun with Kelp Noodles, Yoga, Books, and Raw Desserts!

The journey to health can be arduous. You find passion in eating healthy for a while, and then one day you have a temper or don't feel too well and you just want to give in and eat comforting crap. This happens to me often, and it can take a lot sometimes to snap me out of it, and remind me of what I deep down know is best for me. Deep down I do KNOW (as we all KNOW truth if we listen to the 'self' that lies beyond our thoughts and body) what is best for me: which kinds and how much exercise I like and need, which foods are best for my body and health, how much I need to eat. But if you unknowingly fall out of your cloud of bliss, you can land on a roller coaster ride of confusion and less than healthy choices. I would love to find freedom from this roller coaster once and for all some day. What does accomplishing this take?

While I'm not exactly sure what the answer is, I do feel I am capable of getting there. The best key that I have found is of a spiritual nature. When my mind, body, and spirit are balanced and all equally nourished, I make better choices, I AM balanced. It is when my mind is at ease and quiet that I can feel the freedom. It is when I feel there is peace in my life. It is when I am doing yoga. It is when I am eating light and healthy. It is when I eat more raw foods. It is when I let go of the nagging questions and worries in my mind ABOUT health, wellness and diet. And one thing leads to another. I make a valiant effort to eat well one day. I feel great. I feel inspired to get a new book to encourage the healthy lifestyle I want. I get excited and eat well again the next day. I learn new yoga poses. I learn new spiritual insights through reading my new books. I feel even greater.

This has been my week. While I've had ups and downs, I've come out on top. For example, I had a cold for a couple days (either from detox symptoms from my improved diet, or from the chemical cleaner I smelled someone using at work, which burned my nose a bit) and I started feeling crabby. I wanted to complain and go home from work and have people feel sorry for me. But I made it through my work day (thanks to having a job that I love) and then the next. After a while, I got over that subtle feeling of subconsciously wanting to feel bad so I can feel sorry for myself and have others do the same. I remained grateful for my body's amazing ability to detox and heal itself, and for the fact that besides being congested and foggy and tired, I felt great! And at some point through my third day, after doing some new yoga poses, I felt my energy return. I was happy, positive, and balanced.

And today I feel absolutely awesome in every way. I love the food I'm eating. I love moderation. I love exercising and stretching. This is a feeling that I want to last. Part of me is afraid it will slip away like a dream if I have one hectic day. But the best thing to do, I think, is not to grasp or want. Just be. Falling down will just help me grow in the process of getting back up again, so there's no need to be afraid or obsessing.

Speaking of obsessing, I haven't weighed myself in quite some time. Actually, I take that back; I stepped on the scale a couple weeks ago to some grave disappointment, and quickly decided I was right to refrain and returned to my not-weighing-myself. And now, as I FEEL thin and light, and imagine I have lost some weight, the urge to weigh has returned. I thought about weighing myself again once I'm certain I've reclaimed my perfect weight. But then I thought, what will this do? If I find that I have in fact reached my perfect weight, it will fulfill my ego, and in turn create obsession over every single fluctuation on the scare thereafter. And if I find that I didn't reach my perfect weight, I would feel horribly negative and depressed and even more obsessed with weight. The idea I'm playing with is throwing my scale away (if my boyfriend doesn't mind) forever, and using my 'internal scale' instead. While it's good to make sure you are at a healthy weight, it is NOT good to obsess over every single pound gained or lost if you ARE at a healthy weight! I'm understanding that the answers are within. I know by the way I feel if I am at my perfect weight. And that's where I need to focus.

Moving on, I would like to share my discoveries of the week that got me to where I am today.

First is my book shopping trip. I went to borders and bought two books, 'Ani's Raw Food Desserts' by Ani Phyo and 'Happy Yoga' by Steve Ross. Firstly, I'll talk about 'Happy Yoga'. This book caught my eye kind of by accident. I had already picked up 'Ani's Raw Food Desserts' and was on my way to the check stand when I glanced at the Yoga section, just for fun, when this book caught my eye. The author shares the name with someone I know, so I laughed, imagining him writing a yoga book, and then decided to flip through it to see what it was all about. First off, I loved the cover. The overall vibe of the book had me smiling. Then I saw the section about diet, and was happy to see that he recommended a raw vegan diet. I flipped through some more and read the synopsis and was flowing with gratitude when I realized I had found a book I needed. I'm still reading it, and every page is worth being savored. It's about 90% the spiritual philosophy behind yoga, and 10% physical yoga. I love this book. I love his story, his advice, and his humor. I was immediately drawn in from the first chapter, reading about how he had been a rock musician, and had to balance his personal lifestyle with the fast paced 'rock star' lifestyle, which I can relate to as a musician myself. This entire book is a great and inspiring read, and is responsible for enhancing my current joy of life right now!

Now onto 'Ani's Raw Food Desserts.' Having made only two of the recipes so far, I don't have much to say about it, but I have been dying to get this book for a long time. Flipping through this little book, I can tell the recipes are easy and low maintenance. I can see many recipes that fit into my budget, schedule, and desire for simplicity. I can't wait to make more recipes from this book! About the recipes I HAVE made: yesterday I made the Almond Frangipane Kream. It's a light, simple, creamy topping or pudding. At first, as I was blending my ingredients, I thought I needed to add more almonds, as the mixture looked runny. But I held out, wondering if maybe it just needed to be blended longer than instructed (instructions say 30 seconds.) I was glad I waited and kept on blending because the result after a minute or two, was a smooth, thick cream. Silly non-VitaMix! It just needed to be blended longer! The second recipe I made was Sliced Apples with Rosemary. I was a little uncertain about this one, thinking Ew, Rosemary and...Apples? But I tried it anyhow, as it was one of the only other desserts that I actually had all the ingredients for (apples, lemon juice, and rosemary!) and I'm so glad I did. It was such a surprising yet delicious combination of tastes; sweet, sour, tangy, aromatic! YUM!



On the topic of food, let me share what I've been eating this week: In the morning I've been drinking a variation of the Master Cleanse lemon water; juice of one lemon, 1/8 tsp cayenne, and honey or agave nectar with either cold or warm water. I follow this with ginger tea sipped throughout the morning when I'm at work (my work is COLD!). For lunch (around 11am if I'm working) I eat two pieces of fruit. Most of the week I had a peach and a banana. Today I had a plum and the Sliced Apples with Rosemary. Earlier in the week I had salad for dinner followed by pasta, mostly vegan mac n cheese. While I knew this wasn't the cleanest dish, I decided to eat up the vegan cheese I had bought on a whim (in one of my agitated-need-comfort-food-moods) and then move on. A couple days I had salad followed by kelp noodles in Ani Phyo's Raw Marinara. Last night I had a euphoric day of eating: Salad (need I say I eat salad with dinner a lot?) followed by kelp noodles with Pesto from 'Raw Food Made Easy' by Jennifer Cornbleet. So Yummy!...



And now, for dessert: This was basically a variation of Berries and Peaches with Almond Frangipane Kream from 'Ani's Raw Food Desserts'. But I made it into....

Peach and Blueberry Crumble
(topped with Almond Frangipane Kream)

Fruit Filling (single serving):
1 peach, sliced or chopped
1/2 cup blueberries
drizzle of agave nectar

Toss the peaches and blueberries in the agave and set aside

Crumble Topping (multiple servings):
1 cup Pecans* (see note below)
4 dates
1/8 tsp cinnamon
pinch sea salt

Process in food processor until light and crumbly. Sprinkle a few Tbsp of the crumble on top of the fruit (or press into the bottom of a bowl or pie tin to make it into a crust). Refrigerate leftovers. Top with a few dollops of Almond Frangipane Kream, if desired (get the book!)

(*Note: I didn't actually measure out my pecans, so feel free to add more until you get a good texture.)



I will be eating this all again tonight! It was so good!
And that's all for now!

The magic of moderation

I'm writing because I am experiencing something extraordinary: I have abstained from sweets for the past few days (or more) without much force. Something happened somewhere around reading "enLIGHTened" by Jessica Berger Gross, "Essential Ayurveda" by Shubhra Krishan, and attending a yoga class at Hot Yoga of Issaquah that really helped me learn the value of moderation. Somewhere, it just clicked; that true, heartfelt desire to treat my body well and eat only foods that will nourish me. I've been in plenty of situations recently where I have considered buying sweets. I'm not even telling myself I can't have them. I'm just confronting them, and passing them over. I've even had a sweet treat in my hand more than once and put it back on the shelf. I can't remember an exact moment where I realized I didn't WANT sweets anymore (I still have these subtle cravings of the mind, which is why I walk down the candy/cookie isles in the first place); all I know is that lately, I just don't want them, and I don't need them. I've had ice cream a couple times in the past week or two, but only because Brian wanted some, so I made us ice cream cones to enjoy together. But other than that, even when I'm hanging out with friends, I find it easy to pass over the sweets. This is an amazing thing!

Also, for a few weeks I was routinely walking a minimum of 40 minutes a day (or running the treadmill on the rare not-so-sunny day), every day, no matter what. This sounds wonderful and a great thing to stick to, and I felt great. The only problem was I didn't feel like I was losing weight or making any progress. I felt like I might even be getting thicker! Yeah, I know, it was probably just muscle. But when I read "Essential Ayurveda" I remembered that my body type (Vata) has a tendency to overwork and overexert. An example of this comes from last week: one of the days I walked a total of 8 miles. The next day, I decided to rest to rebuild my strength but then gave in and went jogging/walking with my mom for an hour, followed by 1 1/2 hours of hot yoga. During hot yoga, I got so nauseous I felt like I was going to pass out. I've done hot yoga twice and never felt like that. So it is quite possible I was overexerting myself with the excessive exercise without a day of rest. And something resonated with me when the instructor would tell us to push your boundaries a little, but also practice Ahimsa, nonviolence, to your body and be gentle enough. It was a strange concept but very enlightening. I had understood ahimsa when applied to interacting with other people and animals. But being gentle...to my own body...during exercise? As foreign a concept as it seemed, it really made sense when I connected it to the practice of moderation; understanding the benefit and balance that comes from moderation of ALL things; eating, exercise, spending, indulging, etc, etc. A day or two later, I finally took a day off walking. This week, I walk every other day or two. I still, of course, do my 10 minute of sun salutations every morning. But cutting back on the obsessive aerobic walking has actually helped me feel leaner, surprisingly!

I feel great this week! I've been eating decently and practicing moderation for the most part. Of course, I still overeat on occasion, especially when eating out. But I feel like my stomach has shrunk a little, and I can't eat as much in one sitting as I could just a couple weeks ago. I don't think I have lost any weight, but I've also quit weighing myself. I'm just sick of getting on the scale, thinking my body looks great, and then finding out I haven't lost a pound. I just don't care about that right now. I don't need some device getting me stressed and disappointed. That kind of abuse is not helpful, and makes me just want to give up and binge on sweets! I will lose weight and get back to my perfect weight, but honestly, becoming healthy is what matters first and foremost. And I DO look great NOW and I will only look and feel better and better every day!

Despite the fact that I've been reading some Ayurveda books lately that for the most part discourage the consumption of raw foods (especially for Vata types) I have started eating more of them.

(if you are unfamiliar with Ayurveda, but curious, I highly recommend "Perfect Health" by Deepak Chopra and the above mentioned "Essential Ayurveda." And while I don't agree with or intend to practice 100% of what I've learned from Ayurveda, such as they Ayurvedic preference for white rice over brown, etc, I do believe that Ayurveda holds an amazing source of wisdom and helps you learn to gain insight into your body and the connectiveness of mind-body-spirit.)

Of course, I've continued eating my daily fruit and salads throughout these healthy and not-so-healthy months past. But now I'm trying to rekindle my love for raw foods and the desire to transition to a high raw diet. This week I'm drinking romaine carrot juice for breakfast, and eating a raw salad for lunch. My dinners are cooked, but eventually I want them to be half raw, and then after that mostly raw (or all raw with the occasional cooked food day during the week). I've been wanting to find my RAW excitement again, but it was finally reignited a few days ago when I was at Madison Market. There I found a pre-packaged meal made at Chaco Canyon. It was a raw ginger sesame kelp noodle dish, and it was soooo delish! I ate the yummy noodles over a bed of salad greens at home. It was my first time trying kelp noodles, and I LOVED them! I later returned to buy a package of kelp noodles to use at home, and today I tried my first recipe:

Kelp Noodles, Veggies, and Green Sauce!

Kelp Noodles:

Open package of kelp noodles, rinse, and drain. You can also toss in some lemon juice to help them soften up, but they will soften once they are in the green sauce.


Veggies:

1 zucchini
1 yellow squash
1 red bell pepper
A couple large handfuls green beans

Chop zucchini and squash. Julienne red bell pepper. Cut ends off of green beans and then cut each in half.

Green Sauce: (This recipe was adapted from the Creamy Italian Dressing recipe in Rawvolution by Matt Amsden...mine just has WAY more basil! This dressing is the #1 favorite of everyone who I've served it to! It is so versatile! Use it on salad, pasta, steamed veggies, raw zucchini noodles. Brian loves it drizzled over baked chicken and rice.)

3/4 cup oil
1/4 cup raw apple cider vinegar
2-3 cloves garlic, peeled
2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp sea salt
1-2 cups tightly packed fresh basil (depending on how much you like basil; I usually start with one cup, then add a few more stalks of basil until the sauce is very green and has a tangy pesto flavor)
1/4 cup tightly packed fresh oregano
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup raw pine nuts

Blend!

Now, you can either toss all of the ingredients together now and serve, or store them separately. I've chosen to store separately because this makes a LARGE serving, and I intend to eat this for lunch throughout the week. If you choose to serve the full serving at once, marinade the kelp noodles in the green sauce for about 30 minutes or more to help them soften. Then top with veggies and a drizzle of more green sauce!

If you want to make individual servings, portion out the desired amount of kelp noodles and toss with green sauce. (If you are taking this to work and are letting it sit, then the noodles will be soft by lunch. If you are just eating an individual serving immediately, make sure you let the noodles marinate for at least 30 minutes.) Then top with a couple handfuls of the veggies. Drizzle with more green sauce if desired. Store the leftover green sauce in a container in the fridge. Store the chopped veggies in the fridge as well. Store the kelp noodles in a container filled with water in the fridge. All of these should last a few days. This is only day one for me, so I can't tell you exactly how long they truly last. Should serve about 4, I'm guessing.

Also, I have yet to take pictures of this, but hopefully I will get a chance before I eat it all!

One more recipe for today; Eat Your Greens...for dessert!

Green smoothie Popsicle!

This recipe is so simple it's more of an idea than a recipe. But you heard me! If green smoothies are so good for you, what better dessert could there be? Get some Popsicle molds, or use a few cups with spoons as the stick. Fill them with your favorite green smoothie recipe (see my previous posts here and here for ideas) and freeze overnight or until solid. YUM!

Well, I believe that is all I have to say for now. This week's lessons: Moderation and Ahimsa! In all things, to all beings, including yourself.

Back to my vegan roots...goodbye cheese, hello green smoothies

So my detox failed. I don't really know why. I think Natalia Rose's plan is awesome and wonderful and should totally work. But I was really having trouble committing to it. I knew I should commit to it, and I wanted to want to commit to it. I wanted a healthy, pure body. But there was this strange thing in the back of my mind that honestly didn't care. At some moments, I would look at my body, feel how I was feeling, and know that I could treat myself better. I could shed a good 10 lbs, exercise, and stick to the plan. Then, at other moments, I would look at this same body of mine and think, "It's not even that bad. It could be worse. I'm lucky I only look like this from all I indulge in. This isn't so bad. I get to eat sweets and fatty foods and pastries, and I only look and feel this bad...which isn't as bad as it could be, so what's the big deal?" And this mentality led me to making some very bad decisions about the food I ate.

During my last two weeks at Starbucks, I started looking at all our pastries and suddenly they looked delicious. I read the ingredients. I knew what crap was in them. But I honestly didn't care. I ate a toffee almond bar one day. Didn't gain weight. So I figured it wasn't so bad. I ate one another day. I sampled a different pastry the next. And this continued until I finally started feeling a little bad...and started gaining weight.

And where did all this bad behavior come from? I know there must have been some psychological issues going on in my mind, maybe stress or slight and subtle depression that made me not care about what I put into my body. But as for a physical trigger? Cheese. This has happened twice now, so I have no excuse to let this happen again. Both times it started with the allowance of Raw Goat Cheese in my diet. Then I started eating pasteurized cheese here and there. Then, since I was already eating cheese and officially "not vegan" I ended up eating other non-vegan foods (like salmon pita and latke's the first time; toffee almond bars, etc, the second) and experiencing an all together crash in my high standards for healthy food. It's an unexplainable snowball effect that takes place when I stray from my vegan lifestyle. And it was so subtle this time. I really felt like I was just going to eat cheese every now and then, and that it wouldn't influence the rest of my diet at all. But it did and I have no idea why. I can't explain it. I know it must be something linked to my subconscious. I have a feeling I have deep psychological issues with food. I just don't even know where to start in understanding them. Whatever the problem is, it's not obvious to me.

Anyhow, like last time my diet crashed, I re-read "Skinny Bitch." There's something magical about that book. I really though it couldn't possibly have any effect on me this fifth or sixth time around reading it, but somehow, it did. I wasn't even moved while reading it, like I usually am. But just a couple days ago, I realized I was done with cheese.

So I'm back to my vegan roots. However, for the sake of not offending any true, 100%, dedicated for life, ethical vegans, I'll admit that I've never been a strict vegan; I still eat honey, I wear leather (mostly in the form of shoes and used or hand-me-downs), and I don't obsess when I go out to eat that my meal is 100% vegan. This last part may sound totally absurd and non-vegan of me, but--especially as I grow to live longer with my "veganism"--I have come to understand that there's a risk in eating out at a non-vegan restaurant, and it alleviates a lot of stress to just let go and surrender to that fact, and do my best. It's easier to order vegan food at some restaurants, and more difficult at others. Currently, my favorite type of food is Indian. And while Indian food is easy to get vegetarian, it can be a little tricky to get something 100% vegan, since they use butter and cream in recipes that you would never even guess would have it in them. I ate at a vegetarian Indian restaurant with my mom recently, and they showed me which items were vegan. Then I ate at a regular Indian restaurant (Maharaja in West Seattle) with Brian even more recently (before I had made the decision to drop cheese) and just ordered from the vegetarian section. And it was so good! I was relieved that I wasn't 100% vegan at that point, because I knew I would have been overwhelmed trying to ensure I got something that was. So that department is something I feel comfortable giving myself a little slack. Just order as vegan as I can to my knowledge, and just let go, and enjoy my favorite food.

Of course, I would like to save money and eat at home as much as possible. Luckily, with my new job at Trader Joe's (which I love, by the way), I get discounts on all my groceries which include quite a few vegan Indian food products! And there are a few dishes I would like to replicate at home, vegan-ized from scratch, such as that delicious Indian spinach sauce (usually comes paired with Paneer cheese), creamy Masala sauce, and I would like to make a vegan "paneer" dish. To me, Paneer cheese tastes exactly like tofu and has the same texture, so I think it would be an easy substitution. I wonder if there are any good vegan Indian food cookbooks? Maybe I'll look online for some recipes!

Anyhow, I'm getting a little off track. To summarize my ramblings, I'm sick of cheese and sick of eating unhealthily, and am happy to go back to my vegan ways and hope I don't get blindsided ever again. I've got to be stronger next time!

The good news is that I feel like I've been eating much better these past few days...and I've been exercising every day! I wake up with my sun salutations, drink water and tea in the morning, drink a green smoothie around noon, eat something like a salad for late lunch around 2:30 or 3, and then one of my usual dinners (Chickpea red curry and rice, avocado tofu spring rolls, and these delicious vegan Masala vegetable pototocake burger things from Trader Joes are all on the menu this week.) As a step to rid my dessert addiction, I'm trading in pastries and such for fruit. I know it is not ideal to eat fresh fruit after dinner because of its difficulty to digest on anything but an empty stomach, but I do think it is a better alternative to cupcakes and cookies every night. So I'm going to try that, at least to transition away from dessert all together, and see how it makes me feel. One step at a time.

I don't know what it is, but I'm peaceful again, and ready to take care of my body. I think it has a lot to do with the new book I bought and read a few days ago: "enLIGHTened; how I lost 40 pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle-Pointer" by Jessica Berger Gross. This book read kind of like a memoir filled with examples and instructions of yoga poses, humor, recipes (including some Indian dishes!), and tips for improving your life. It wasn't a diet plan; it was her personal experience from childhood to early motherhood, which was inspiring and incredibly relatable. Parts of it sounded like they came right out of my own life story: how she would easily gain back the weight she lost, how she ate as a child, how she watched her mother's stop-and-go dieting, and she's only 5'2" (I'm 5'00") so I could actually relate to her body image as well! This book made me feel more peaceful, hearing how someone else has experienced something similar to me. It made me feel stronger, empowered, and less of a "lost cause." The Yoga aspect also appealed to me, as I've fallen in love with Hot Yoga and can't wait till I can afford to go back. And hearing how much Yoga improved the author's life makes me even more excited. I recommend this book heartily to anyone who has struggled to lose AND maintain their weight.

So that's that. Now here's something I haven't done in awhile:


Green Smoothies of the Week! (I'm alternating between two different ones this week)
*These measurements are approximate as I just eyeball it each time. Both recipes serve 1 (if using a large glass) or two (if using two small glasses)

Tropical
-Two large handfulls of Spinach (fills about 1/3 the bottom of the blender)
-1/2 cup frozen mango
-1/2 cup frozen pineapple
-1 ripe banana
-1/2 container (3 oz) peach (or other) flavored soy yogurt (optional)
-water (just enough to get it blending, usually to the 1 cup line on the blender. Add more as needed to get it to blend smooth)

BLEND and enjoy!

Berry
-Two large handfulls of Spinach
-1/2 cup frozen mixed berries (cherries, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries)
-1/2 cup frozen strawberries
-1 ripe banana
-1/2 container (3 oz) berry (or other) flavored soy yogurt (optional)
-water (see above for measurement)

BLEND!!!

My stomach is growling now! Time for curry and brown rice for dinner!

A little bit-o-detoxing

So I embarked upon my detox according to Natalia Rose's "Detox for Women" book for an entire week. And it has been wonderful! I admit though, I'm having trouble cutting out all sugars and pastries; Day one, I ate a wafer-cookie at about 2 in the morning after a long night out at my boyfriend's band's show. Day two I ate some ice cream. Days 3 and 4, I ate a pastries. I had ONE day where I ate well without a single sugar-sweet. But even with these setbacks, I had lost 4 lbs by this point!

Unfortunately, I realized I was spending quite a lot of money on groceries. After a lot of stress and disappointment, I decided to do a "budget detox" version (at least until I start my new job at Trader Joes where I will get to use my discount on produce!) Basically, instead of juicing for my first meal (which can get pricey)I eat a piece of low-sugar fruit like a green apple, grapefruit, or berries, usually around noon. Instead of a salad for my mid-day meal (since I eat a salad for dinner as well), I eat a simple mono-meal of raw veggies like carrots, usually around 2-4pm. And for dinner, I eat pretty much the same as the traditional detox from DFW; a BIG raw salad and whatever cooked veggies I want like a baked beet, baked sweet potato, sauteed veggies, etc.

Last night I hit another snag; while I ate my apple at noon, and an avocado at 3pm, by the time I got home from band practice, I was exhausted and overheated, and a little moody. My boyfriend offered to buy vegan taco bell burritos for dinner, which I accepted, and then chased them with an entire pint of ice cream. Not good this morning when I woke up! I was bloated and had gained back some lbs! I think it was mostly waste-weight, though, as I was feeling dense and constipated :(

Today, I followed my morning-afternoon detox routine, but then went a little non-detox for dinner; my boyfriend took us out for pasta. I got cheese shells...REAL cheese shells, not even vegan ones...and then we picked up some ice cream on the way home to eat later. I don't feel gross or over-full, but I really WANT to be dedicated to this detox. I want to get over these food cravings for greasy, heavy foods. I want more raw foods! I want sweets gone! Actually, I WANT to WANT them gone! This would be A LOT easier if I had a larger budget because I could replace these heavy foods with raw versions; zucchini pasta with raw marinara, raw ice cream. Then again, maybe I'm craving the interaction with my boyfriend? The going-on-a-date-feeling? Or maybe it's just that I'm subconsciously fighting the restrictions of my detox?

Well, you know what? The only thing that will get rid of these cravings, is a cleaner body. I don't crave this crap when my body is being filled with mostly raw foods and no sugar-sweets. So I need to make a commitment; a REAL commitment, not just some half-assed attempt. I need to commit to say NO to my cravings. I need to start anew, tell my friends, family, and boyfriend that I need support, quit going out to eat, quit eating sweets, and do this detox for the rest of the month! And as for sweets, I need to cut them all out, raw or not, so my body can re-adjust to living without them and crave them less. Then I'll be more in control when I DO choose sweets. And after that, I should start choosing high-quality sweets, preferably raw!

So am I ready to make that commitment? I think so. Geez, I am so fickle! Is it just me, or is everyone else crazy too???!!!

New Job, New Body!

I just accepted a job as a sign artist at the Issaquah Trader Joe's! I'm excited to be working in an environment where I will feel better suited. While Starbucks reintroduced me to the world of retail work, gave me excellent experience as a supervisor, and great references, I did not feel like it was a perfect match. I don't drink coffee, I am disturbed by the large number of coffee addicts who spend way too much on their drug, I think the pastries are unhealthy and cringe when people ask "which one is healthiest?", and I have to wear long sleeved shirts year round to cover my tattoos.

At Trader Joes, I'll be working around natural foods and will actually put my discount to use, considering the majority of my money is spent on groceries. I'll be able to dress casually AND wear short sleeve shirts because they allow tattoos! I'll have a regular, set schedule each week. I'll be working every weekend, however, but I will always be off by 2pm, so I can still enjoy my day. I'm excited to start my new job on the 15th!

In other news, I purchased "Detox for Women" by Natalia Rose recently, and have decided to embark on a one month detox according to her plan. I am a big fan of her previous books, and think that this one is her best yet. The plan is pretty easy, and not as strict as one would think. Usually the term "detox" or "cleanse" make people shiver with fright. But her plan is simple. I'll be drinking a lot of fresh veggie juice (in the morning) and eating LOTS of big salads with avocado, lots of cooked and raw veggies, baked sweet potatoes, quinoa and millet, and raw goat cheese. (Yes, I am still eating cheese. As I won't be eating soy cheese during this time, I don't think this program would appeal to me if I couldn't have something cheese-like.)

Anyhow, I recommend this book to any woman who just feels like crap about her body or feels like she has some extra weight to lose and isn't appalled by the idea of streamlining her current way of eating to a simpler, pure, whole foods diet. Her plan is workable for anyone, not just vegans or vegetarians. On her one month detox, she allows organic eggs, fish, and occasional chicken and very high quality meats for those who want them, in addition to raw goat cheddar (available at Whole Foods) and all raw and cooked veggies and vegetable juice. Grains and fruit are limited to a select few, since the object of this plan is to rid your body of yeasts and bacteria that grains and sugars feed (and are growing in pretty much EVERY non-cleansed woman's body) so you can easily shed excess weight and feel amazing. The last time I embarked on one of her plans (Raw Food Life Force Energy) I lost 5 pounds the first couple weeks, ten pounds total...and that was WHILE deviating frequently from the plan! I DO plan on sticking this one out to the best of my ability for the entire month.

I also finally ordered internet at my apartment along with VERY basic cable, so I'll be able to go online more often and catch up on LOST and report my progress with the detox! We don't get it installed till next week though.

That's all for now!

My confession to the Vegan Police

I've committed a crime against veganism and I feel like I should confess for my sins. As I am not currently keeping a paper journal (mine got filled up and I have yet to buy a new one) I'll just have to blog about it.

I ate cheese. Yep. I said it. I've been a pretty good (not perfect) vegan for almost two years, save for my short-lived experimentations with raw goat cheese last winter when I was eating mostly raw foods, and I have absolutely no excuse to be eating cheese now. It's easy to live without it. Farm and Slaughterhouse practices disgust me. There are plenty of delicious soy-based immitations.

So I am just pleading guilty and not giving any excuses. There is no such thing as "my body craves it" or "I need calcium and protien from dairy." That is all bullshit. This cheese thing just happend. But it was not an accident. Brian bought this amazing sounding goat cheese brie from the West Seattle Farmers Market and I just wanted some, simple as that. As much as I am disgusted by meat, eggs, milk, and other animal products, I've always had a difficult time being comletely appalled by cheese. So when Brian bought that cheese, it was a little surpising that I honeslty WANTED some! I reasoned with myself for awhile, but it just felt OK to eat it in the end. Not great, not a perfect idea, not a neccessity. Just OK. I could eat it if I wanted, and see how it made me feel.

To be honest, I really liked it. Of course I did. But what does this mean? Am I not vegan anymore? I'm not sure. I do know that I did enjoy the cheese and am not appalled by the idea of eating it occasionally. I also know that I DO NOT want to eat meat, drink milk, eat eggs, or consume any food with animal products or byproducts (whey, caesin, etc.) or use non-animal-friendly products...just cheese; fancy, high-quality, preferrably organic straight-up cheese.

Then again, this could very well be another hit-it-and-quit-it affair, like the raw goat cheese was and I could be sick of it very soon. Likely? We'll see.

Otherwise, I feel like I've been eating very well and exercising a decent amount. I've gone back to many of Natalia Rose's principles from her books, eating mostly raw fruits and vegetables, along with high quality grains (brown rice, quinoa, whole grain pasta) and cooked vegetables. I've minimized my gluten intake drastically as well as my soy-product consumption (my soy is usually in the form of occasional tofu or condiments like vegan ranch dressing, etc.) I've been avoiding processed foods which means I'm not eating as many mock-meats or mock-cheeses as I used to. I WILL still eat at my FAVORITE restaurants though, with no limitations (Squid and Ink and Bamboo Gardens!!!). I eat fruit (or Vega) for breakfast, veggies with vegan ranch (or salad) for lunch, and a big salad with a whole grain pasta, brown rice, quinoa, baked sweet potato, etc, for dinner.

I've also been doing yoga (I went to Hot Yoga with my mom twice and it was AWESOME!) and walking a lot. I feel pretty damn good!

Anyhow, there's my confession. I don't feel bad about it. Just a little confused.

I want to be healthy again...I AM healthy NOW!

So yeah, my conflicting pull between eating super cheap and eating super healthy has been tough. Last week I got sick of salads and ate cereal for breakfast and a peanut butter jelly sandwiches for lunch...it totally reminded me that I'm not missing out on ANYTHING by eating fresh and healthy! And now for the past few days I've been sick...not TOO sick, just congested and tired. I'm sure my recent diet has had quite a bit to do with that! Also, I quit drinking Vega a few weeks ago, which I feel was helping me consume a good amount of vitamins, protein, etc. And my skin, hair, and nails looked perfect while I was drinking it daily! So I gave in and bought a 2 week supply (using half-servings) and am going to eat salads again (bored or not.) I am also curious to try eating Gluten-Free for a week and see if that improves my overall diet, health, and tummy (I've been bloated.) I haven't read up on the benefits of eating a gluten-free diet too much, but I stumbled upon the symptoms of gluten intolerance and figure it could probably benefit me, intolerant or not, to limit gluten intake. In fact, I think any diet could benefit from the limitations of any of the common allergens (soy, peanuts, gluten.) I'm not quite ready to give of soy (in the form of tofu) or peanut butter (I LOVE peanut butter), but I figure I'll start with gluten. There's just something about a gluten-free diet that has been calling to me...maybe it's the bloating that keeps happening after I eat cereal and peanut butter sandwiches! That could also be due to poor food combining, as well. Anyhow, my diet needs to go back to basics, include more raw, and less sweets. On a good note, I haven't been binging quite as much lately! I've been snacking on chips and had two servings of ice cream last night, but nothing too detrimental; no over-stressed self-loathing! And my weight obsession has cooled a bit. I think I'm going to boycott the scale for awhile, just to be safe!