Over the past couple months, I've been transitioning to a healthier, more balanced diet. You can read about my wild experience on my Raw Food Journey blog. I have finally reached my perfect weight and feel really good about the way I eat. I definitely still have areas in need of improvement, but I know I have learned a lot. I am so grateful for all of the books I have read that have inspired me; Natalia Rose and her first two books, Skinny Bitch by Rory Freeman and Kim Barnouin, Healing With Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford, Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra, just to name a few.
At the start of my transition, and again in the middle of it, I was overwhelmed and confused, and felt like I should be following only one program, or only one author's diet principles. "How can there be so many contradicting theories? Who do I trust? What is best for me?" I asked. But I only found answers when I relaxed, quieted my mind, and let go. I didn't let go in an "eat whatever I want" way, but in a "take it one day at a time, doing my best to make the best decisions for my life and body." I realized that, while I respect and love all these authors, I don't have to follow just one. We all have likes, dislikes, and desires that are different from each other. So I picked up a few principles from these books, and implemented the ones I truly believed in. Deep down, we do truly know what is best for us!
Here are the diet/lifestyle tips that I have found most helpful (in no particular order of importance):
1.) body brush every day! I bought a dry body brush from PCC for about $8. If you don't know what one is, it's a natural bristle brush that you use to literally brush your skin. It helps remove wastes, toxins, and cellulite. The best description of how to body brush is in Raw Food Life Force Energy. Here's my quick summary; you take the brush, and (standing completely dry and naked) brush your skin from your feet, in upward strokes up your legs and calves, thighs, butt, all the way up to your armpits. Take some time to move the brush in slow circles over the back of the thighs to help fight cellulite. Then brush from the tips of your fingers up to your armpits and shoulders. Avoid the breast area, but make sure you brush all other areas of your skin in long, slow strokes. This takes hardly any time at all. I do it every morning as soon as I wake up and it feels great! My skin tone has greatly improved!
2.) exercise! It's obvious, I know, but what isn't obvious is how easy it is to get exercise. My favorite daily routine is to do 10 sun salutes (yoga) as learned from Perfect Health by Deepak Chopra. I do this almost every morning after I body brush. It takes no more than 10 minutes and is a wonderful way to get exercise! You don't have to sweat and strain every day; just do something. I also love to walk outdoors so I try to walk to the local shopping center (about a 20 minute brisk walk away) whenever I can find an excuse to. Other things you can do: jog, dance, play Wii fit games, do exercise tapes. Find something you love to do and do it often.
3.) don't put anything into your body until you are truly hungry! This is another one that sounds obvious but is frequently ignored. I have read quiet a few books that explain how the digestive system needs rest and shouldn't be activated until necessary. Most of us eat much earlier than we honestly need to, based on habit and convenience. And we also tend to eat a lot more than we need that early in the morning! I know some people get light headed and think they need to eat as soon as they wake up or they won't make it through the day. For some of you, that may be true. But there are also some of us who eat before we are hungry just because we want to; and you know who you are. I find that if I wait to eat until I'm actually truly hungry, I eat much later in the morning, and I eat much less throughout the day. Food is available to nourish and sustain us, not to entertain us; so eat when you are hungry and NOT BEFORE! Seriously, just try it for one day even; it is especially useful the day after eating a LARGE, late dinner. I tried this one day when I forgot my breakfast on my way to work and couldn't afford to buy anything. I kept myself from obsessing over the fact that I had no food, and went on with my day. When I started feeling a little hungry, I sipped warm water (that always curbs cravings and hunger within minutes for me!) and I was fine and full of energy throughout my whole shift. In fact, I felt better than I usually did! I ended up feeling very in tune with my body, and could tell that I really didn't need food in the early morning after all. When I got home form work, I was finally hungry and I ate a banana--and that wasn't until 2pm! Just imagine all the unnecessary calories you may be consuming just out of habit!
4.) eat light to heavy! Now this one can be hard for those of you who have been drilled with the "breakfast is the most important meal of the day and should be the largest" theory. I do agree that breakfast is very important, but not because it should have a shit ton of calories; it is important because if you eat crap (heavy, dense food), you'll feel tired, heavy, and weighed down; and if you eat light, pure, energizing, fresh foods, you will feel light, pure, and energized throughout your day! When your body isn't weighed down with all the food it is working to digest, it will provide you with more energy. Natalia Rose explains this beautifully. My quick summary is this: eat foods that digest fastest in the morning, and eat your heavier foods for dinner. This will help your food digest faster without fermenting or "backing you up," if you know what I mean. The quickest digesting foods are fruits, vegetables, and their freshly squeezed juices. They make great breakfasts if you can get over the whole "eat a giant breakfast" myth. This is another thing to just give a try. If it doesn't work for you, then you can always go back to your routine. The truth is, you won't starve. Just get out of your head! Listen to your body, not your cravings! Fresh fruit is so pure and cleansing, and should be eaten daily. If you are eating pancakes and oatmeal for breakfast, how are you eating enough fruit? And don't tell me you are eating it for dessert or along side your lunch; fresh fruit does not digest well with ANYTHING else. It will sit on top of your other food and ferment, making you bloated and gassy. Eating fruit first, followed by the denser foods later in the day, will speed your digestion right along. Here's something to think about: Have you ever talked to a girl who is effortlessly skinny? You will usually hear her admit, "I poop after every meal!" Yes, pooping often is a key to weight loss. You want the vitamins in your body and the waste out. And, if you're not "effortlessly skinny" or an easy-pooper, you need to help your digestive system! Eat light to heavy! (A good order of light to heavy foods to remember is this: Fruit/veggie juice-- fresh fruit-- fresh, raw veggies and salad-- nuts, seeds, and dried fruit-- cooked, heavy food.)
5.) eat fresh fruit or fresh pressed fruit/veggie juice as your first meal of the day! The reason is obvious if you read my last tip. Fruit for breakfast is perfect! I usually eat an apple when I'm first hungry and then a second piece of fruit, usually a banana, about an hour later. After that I'm usually good until dinner if I'm eating dinner early enough. If not, I eat carrots, a salad, or a snack bar (like Lara bar.) The second part of this tip is also important: So many people recommend drinking freshly juiced fruit and veggie juices, especially the juice of dark, leafy greens. Greens have protein and chlorophyll and a ton of other vitamins and minerals. Most of us don't get many greens throughout the day (unless you eat nothing but salad) so getting your green juice in the morning is wonderful. It can be expensive to buy a head of kale every other day, but I still like to juice some greens whenever I can! Just make sure you juice your greens with fresh apple or lemon so it's not bitter!
6.) eat raw till dinner! now this is one that I know can be hard for a lot of people. The fact is, the more raw food you eat in the form of fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, and grains, the better. Raw foods are pure and uncooked and have all of their enzymes and vitamins intact. This principle is easy if you follow all of the other tips: not eating until you are hungry makes you eat a little later in the day. And if you eat light to heavy, your first meal should be fruit, your second meal should be more fruit or veggies or a salad, and your last meal should be a big, hearty, balanced dinner! It was easy for me to eat raw till dinner after a couple days of trying it out. And I don't eat like this religiously every day. It's just a principle that I know is best for my body. Being aware of that helps me make better choices.
7.) fall in love with salads! salads can be boring...if you let them! But they are so good for you, and can taste truly amazing if you get creative. I eat a giant salad as a main component to almost every dinner. I get a big plate, top it with a huge pile of greens, avocado, tomato, cucumber, fresh garlic, onion, carrots (give or take a few ingredients depending on the day) and sometimes olives or tamari chickpeas from Eat Drink and Be Vegan by Dreena Burton. Sometimes I use a simple dressing of vinegar, oil, and agave nectar; or lemon juice, oil, agave nectar, and nama shoyu; or a favorite store-bought dressing. Find a way to make salads that you love. If you eat dairy, throw on some goat cheese! If you're vegan, go to Sidecar Grocery in the U District and get some "Sheese." If you want something sweet, make a salad with sliced asian pear, walnuts, raisins, and a raspberry vinaigrette (just remember that fresh fruit digests much better alone, so be prepared for the possibility of potential gas or bloating!) Get creative. Love salads. Eat them as often as you can!
8.) properly combine your food! This is a very good principle in speeding up digestion. Natalia Rose explains it best, and I know my summary won't do it justice, so please read Raw Food Life Force Engery if you are interested in understanding food combining. But just to clue you in a little here's my quick summary: starches (grains, bread) and starchy vegetables (potatoes, etc) are one category, flesh (meat, eggs) and dairy are another, nuts and dried fruit are yet another, and fresh fruit is another. All of these categories (except fresh fruit, which you now know digests best alone) digest well with all raw, non-starch veggies (lettuce, carrots, etc), but otherwise should not be mixed and eaten with any other category. That's why a burger is so slow to digest; the meat does not digest well with the starch of the bun! That's why your tummy can rumble if you eat fresh fruit after dinner! That's why a cheese pizza sits in your intestines for hours! I agree that food combining is important for optimal health and weight loss, but I have to admit I do not always follow it 100%. But knowing this helps keep me aware and helps me understand the choices I make. Being aware is what matters.
9.) eat only until satisfied! This one is so obvious but it's the hardest for me to follow! I love eating until I am exploding but that is not healthy for your mind, body, or digestion. Food is here to nourish, remember? So stop eating when you are full! Don't eat seconds just because they are there! If you learn to eat peacefully, and pre-portion your food to proportions you know are good for you, it will be much easier. If you get a "snack-tooth" drink some tea instead. Or do something active. I like to write when I'm feeling snacky. And if you do give in and overeat, don't beat yourself up about it. Just remember that every day is a new day and a new chance for you to make a better decision. You ARE capable of making healthy choices!
10.) cut out all addictive foods! If you have a tendency toward binging (like I do) it's worth it to take a look at what those foods are. Most likely it is sweets, refined foods, or heavy, oily, fried foods. On my Raw Food Journey Blog, I wrote about my Addiction Free Diet Experiment. After realizing certain foods caused binging, I decided to cut some out completely, and manage others strictly for a short period of time. Dessert was the thing I gave up completely the first week. I also pre-portioned my grain intake (1 cup of rice or pasta), cut out refined flour and sugar products, abstained from fried foods, and refrained from snacking. I only did this "hard core" for one week. But afterward, I found that I was able to make better choices. I no longer NEED dessert every day. I no longer snack just because I can't stop. While I still give in to a few cravings, I feel more in control. Try cutting out something you know is addictive. Your body only craves what vices you give it. If you are addicted to cheese, cut it out for a week or even a couple days. Your body will cleanse itself and you will no longer need it. If you feel you want to continue to eat cheese, hopefully it will now be easier to eat in moderation. But don't bring back an addictive food until you feel peaceful about it. If you feel like you might binge, you are not ready. Food addiction is so similar to an alcohol or drug addiction. And let me tell you, it feels great to be free!
11.) make affirmations! Almost every day, I write little affirmations either in my journal or my food journal. I write things like "I am in control of my eating, I have the perfect body, I am learning to make better choices every day, I am alive and full of life force energy." This is especially useful after you experience an "uh-oh" with your diet plan. Self-loathing is usually the first reaction when you make a mistake, but it is highly destructive; positive affirmations make you feel good and reinforce good habits. Try this whenever you are bored like when you are watching tv or just waiting around for something to do. This is usually when the snack-cravings occur! Try something positive, like writing affirmations, instead!
12.) keep a food journal! I've been keeping track of everything I eat for the past couple months. I also keep track of my weight, notes on how certain foods or choices make me feel, how much sleep I get, when I exercise, when I body brush. It seemed like an inconvenience at first, but now that I've done it for so long, it's second nature. I don't know if I will ever want to stop! It's helpful because if you lose or gain a significant amount of weight one week, it's easy to look at your food journal to see why. That's how I realized what foods I should keep eating and which ones I should abstain from. And writing down everything you eat helps you really see "the big picture." It also helps you snack less. Just try it, even for a week!
13.) quit eating refined, processed foods! You know that real, pure, whole foods are better for you, right? Well then quit eating fake, processed, refined foods like refined white sugar, candy, and refined flour products. The best grain products are whole, unrefined grains, like brown rice. White rice is highly refined and devoid of essential nutrients. The best whole grain bread products are 100% whole wheat, whole spelt, sprouted grains etc. Read the ingredients; if the word "whole" or "sprouted" is not before the type of grain, it is most likely refined. And look out for those products that include whole grains, but also include refined grains. My favorite whole grain breads are Food for Life sprouted Grain Breads, and Old Mill Bakery brand Honey Whole Wheat, both found at health food stores and even Fred Meyer and a few other traditional grocers. You can also find whole or sprouted grain tortillas and bagels. My favorite whole grain or gluten free cookies (also free of refined sugars) are Nana's. For those of you who cannot stand whole grain products, all I have to say is, "Your loss!" At least try to find ones that you like. To learn more about healthier forms of grain products and sugar, read Skinny Bitch, The Raw Food Detox Diet, or Raw Food Life Force Energy. These books, especially Skinny Bitch, are essential in learning the truth about what you eat and how to make healthier choices. I reviewed all of them on my Raw Food Journey blog.
That's all for now! I'll add more when I think of them!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Operation Prosperity Consciousness
So everyone has heard about the economy. People are losing jobs. Businesses are slowing down. We're all trying hard to survive. We've been inundated with news and stories about "how bad it is."
My question is: what good is this negative talk doing anybody? The economy sucks right now; yeah, I get it. I'm grateful for the heads up so that I can watch my spending. But that's enough already. I know times are hard. I know some of you have lost your jobs. But instead of focusing on what we don't have, what we can't do, let's focus on what we can do. No matter how bad off you are there is someone, somewhere, who is far worse. Seriously; stop and think about it.
I am a strong believer that "like attracts like." If you feel like you have nothing; if you feel broke; if you feel desperate; that's what your life will reflect back to you. It's just not possible for you to see all the good things you have; all the possibilities; all the opportunities; if you are looking the wrong way.
After reading Real Magic by Wayne Dyer, I believe it is essential to build a "Prosperity Consciousness," especially during financially trying times. The worst thing we can do is think in terms of lack. No matter what, we need to feel prosperous on the inside; we need to feel like we have all that we need, that we have more than enough. And what do you do when you have more than enough?
You share. You give to others.
I've been inspired to give in whatever little ways I can. Every week. Every day in my own way. I know hour first response will probably be, "I have nothing, how can I give anything away?" My reply to you is that you need to rid yourself of that thinking right now. Deep down you know there is something you can do to contribute, even if it is tiny. A can of corn can cost less than a dollar! Can you spare 1 dollar a week? 1 dollar a month? Are there clothes you don't wear anymore? Food in your cupboards that are nearly expired? Even if it is something small, your contribution is in no way insignificant. It will make you feel so good and it will switch your thoughts from lack to abundance.
There are so many things you can do, but you must feel good about it and want to do it. Sharing is not about sacrifice or going without. Sharing is about being of service to others because it makes you feel good.
I'm going to share my ideas of how I intend to contribute and share. Please add your own ideas to my comments or copy and repost this (adding your ideas) wherever you like to whomever you like. Sooner or later we'll all see how easy it is to give; how many little ways we can all make a difference.
I, Tessonja Odette, intend to:
1.) Donate at least one healthy, high-quality canned or boxed food item to a local food band or a friend or family in need each week.
2.) Shop at local stores that I would like to support and see flourish. For example: Fresh Vitamins in Westswood Village; I love the fact that there is a store in West Seattle/White Center that carries vegan and live-food items and I want to support their mission by buying their products when I can. Also, Sidecar for Pigs Peace in the U Disctict; an all-vegan grocery store run by volunteers; the profits are donated to Pigs Peace Sanctuary! And the Raw Freedom Community Forum; an awesome community all about sharing info and recipes; buying items through their links donates a percentage right back to the RFC!
3.) Donate a useful item or money to Pigs Peace Sanctuary every time I shop at Sidecar grocery.
Share. Pass it on.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Week Two
Ok, now I think I'm really getting into the flow of making the best choices for my health, life, and body. It's becoming natural and stress-free. This past week was great. I continued along the same path, and faced a few tough choices (to buy or not to buy a cookie? Eat popcorn or don't eat popcorn?) but came out on top, feeling positive. I did a lot of walking this week; I like to walk to Westwood village, a little shopping center about a 20 minute brisk walk from my house. Since I eat salad pretty much every day, I run out of salad greens fairly quickly so instead of driving to PCC, I walk to QFC (they have a decent organic selection) when I have the time and energy. I've been working evenings lately, so taking a nice, energizing walk in the morning is perfect. My eating habits have remained mostly the same, except not quite as stringent. I've been snacking a little more (I had popcorn after my dinner salad one night, a couple spoonfulls of peanut butter when I was still hungry, etc.) but not uncontrollably. I still eat fruit first thing in the morning every day (unfortunately, I haven't had much green juice this last week except for twice at Juice Plant, a fresh juice place in the mall I work at), usually two pieces 30 min - 2 hours apart, followed by a snack at work like two carrots, or like yesterday and today, a Nana's cookie. For dinner I've had a big raw salad almost every night, along with pasta, popcorn, or homemade whole wheat biscuits. I had spring rolls and sushi one night, and last night I made a delicious salad; greens, avocado, carrots, cucumber, and tomato tossed in a little lemon juice and agave nectar and then topped with more fresh avocado and "Tamari Chickpeas" from Dreena Burton's "Eat, Drink, and be Vegan" (my new favorite vegan cookbook!) It was delish and I look forward to eating the leftovers tonight.
For the week, I think I spent about $46-$50 on food and groceries (including my Juice Plant juices.) Not bad at all! I spent about $30 at Trader Joes at the beginning of the week (and still have stuff to feed me throughout this week too!) and then the rest was from misc. goods like salad greens, avocados, a couple cookies, etc, throughout the week. And I'm still maintaining my perfect weight! I know that walking is helping with that too. I would like to make it a goal to walk to Westwood village as many days out of the week as possible. It feels so good to walk in the fresh air, especially when I need something from the store (having a goal or mission really helps!)
I'm also reading this wonderful book, "Real Magic" by Wayne Dyer. I've been curious to read his works ever since I read that he was a huge influence in the lives of Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, the writers of "Skinny Bitch". I'm a big fan of self improvement books about The Laws of Attraction like "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield, and "Excuse me Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn. While reading Wayne Dyer's book, I'm remembering all the things I have learned from these other books (it's easy to forget if you are not constant in your practices and thoughts) and am also learning so much that I haven't caught on to yet, like the power of meditation. I intend on trying meditation on a regular basis. I tried for the first time the other day and it was very interesting. I didn't get too deep, and kept falling asleep for split seconds and mini-dreaming, but it was a start! What this has done for my eating habits is it has put me more at peace. I had already naturally shifted from self-loathing to writing and saying positive affirmations about my self and my choices whenever I would over-eat or snack on something I didn't need, etc, and this book just confirmed that I am on the right path in doing so. I don't think I'm even half way through the book yet, but I'm taking it slow, practicing what I learn slowly every day so it will really sink in.
I have discovered a couple new favorites this week (don't I discover something new every week?!). First up is "Eat, Drink, and be Vegan" by Dreena Burton. This is a vegan cookbook that I got for Christmas from my boyfriends sister the year before last. At the time, I was mostly into vegan comfort food and excited by desserts, desserts, and more desserts. My life pretty much revolved around making vegan mac n cheese, grilled ham n cheese, and anything else with "cheese" and mockmeats. Oh, and did I mention desserts? Yeah, there was A LOT of that. So anyhow, I also received "The Joy of Vegan Baking" by Collen Patrick-Goudreau, which is probably the most delicious and complete cookbook of vegan desserts- lemon bars, cookies galore, cheesecakes, cookies- can you guess which cookbook got the majority of my focus? I thumbed through EDABV a few times, but I saw a lot of unusual-at-the-time ingredients like Spelt and oat flour and there weren't many recipes that included mass amounts of vegan cheese or mockmeats, which was all I was really interested in. So poor little book sat on my bookshelf and was nearly forgotten about until earlier this week. When I finally did pick it up, I was filled with awe and excitement; the recipes are exactly what I need in my life now! Why didn't I remember this book when I was sick of vegan comfort food, and craving whole grains and healthier foods? This book is it! She uses healthy, whole ingredients, whole wheat or gluten free flours, unrefined sugars, minimal oils, and the recipes are unique and awesome! I have yet to make anything except the "Tamari Chickpeas" but I expect this cookbook will become THE cookbook that I use from now on. I would also like to pick up one of her other cookbooks, "Vive Le Vegan."
This just makes me realized the importance of the Vegan Transition; moving from exciting, hearty comfort food dishes (in order to get you motivated and thrilled with the vegan diet) and onto lighter, healthier dishes (in order to maintain health and balance). I wish more writers would include this ideal in their books. If I realized there was somewhere to go beyond "vegan mac n cheese" and pancakes besides a life of salad, I wouldn't have stressed out so bad when I got fed up with comfort food! You know, I could always write a book like that. Haha there I go with my ambitious ideas again! But I really could...I also need to finish my novel though.
And my second favorite of the week is Living Harvest Hempmilk. I was recommended hemp milk by a worker at Fresh Vitamins (a store at Westwood specializing in vitamins, raw, and vegan products!) and then saw it again recommended on Dreena Burton's blog. When I wanted to make "Simple baking powder biscuits" from Sarah Kramer's La Dolce Vegan, I realized I would need non-dairy milk halfway through sifting my flour mixture. So I sped to QFC and decided to try out the hemp milk (I bought the "Original" flavor.) The biscuits turned out amazing (I made them with whole wheat pastry flour) and after I tasted the hemp milk alone, I fell in love and ended up drinking the rest by the glass over the next couple days. Today I bought the chocolate flavor at Fresh Vitamins and can't wait to try that!
Fresh Vitamins is worth mentioning here alone. Today was only my second visit to the store, and I just have to recommend it to anyone living in the West Seattle/White Center area who is interested in raw, vegan, and gluten free products. While their selection isn't HUGE, they do have a lot of stuff you can't find other places, such as a GIANT tub of Really Raw Honey. Some of their items are also a little pricier, but they are worth supporting. I look forward to shopping there during my walks to Westwood. They carry my favorite bread (Food For Life Sprouted Bread), vegan chicken nuggets, Nana's cookies, Kombucha, Lydia's live food products, and so much more that I probably haven't even noticed yet.
And now I should probably get ready to go to work!
For the week, I think I spent about $46-$50 on food and groceries (including my Juice Plant juices.) Not bad at all! I spent about $30 at Trader Joes at the beginning of the week (and still have stuff to feed me throughout this week too!) and then the rest was from misc. goods like salad greens, avocados, a couple cookies, etc, throughout the week. And I'm still maintaining my perfect weight! I know that walking is helping with that too. I would like to make it a goal to walk to Westwood village as many days out of the week as possible. It feels so good to walk in the fresh air, especially when I need something from the store (having a goal or mission really helps!)
I'm also reading this wonderful book, "Real Magic" by Wayne Dyer. I've been curious to read his works ever since I read that he was a huge influence in the lives of Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, the writers of "Skinny Bitch". I'm a big fan of self improvement books about The Laws of Attraction like "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield, and "Excuse me Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn. While reading Wayne Dyer's book, I'm remembering all the things I have learned from these other books (it's easy to forget if you are not constant in your practices and thoughts) and am also learning so much that I haven't caught on to yet, like the power of meditation. I intend on trying meditation on a regular basis. I tried for the first time the other day and it was very interesting. I didn't get too deep, and kept falling asleep for split seconds and mini-dreaming, but it was a start! What this has done for my eating habits is it has put me more at peace. I had already naturally shifted from self-loathing to writing and saying positive affirmations about my self and my choices whenever I would over-eat or snack on something I didn't need, etc, and this book just confirmed that I am on the right path in doing so. I don't think I'm even half way through the book yet, but I'm taking it slow, practicing what I learn slowly every day so it will really sink in.
I have discovered a couple new favorites this week (don't I discover something new every week?!). First up is "Eat, Drink, and be Vegan" by Dreena Burton. This is a vegan cookbook that I got for Christmas from my boyfriends sister the year before last. At the time, I was mostly into vegan comfort food and excited by desserts, desserts, and more desserts. My life pretty much revolved around making vegan mac n cheese, grilled ham n cheese, and anything else with "cheese" and mockmeats. Oh, and did I mention desserts? Yeah, there was A LOT of that. So anyhow, I also received "The Joy of Vegan Baking" by Collen Patrick-Goudreau, which is probably the most delicious and complete cookbook of vegan desserts- lemon bars, cookies galore, cheesecakes, cookies- can you guess which cookbook got the majority of my focus? I thumbed through EDABV a few times, but I saw a lot of unusual-at-the-time ingredients like Spelt and oat flour and there weren't many recipes that included mass amounts of vegan cheese or mockmeats, which was all I was really interested in. So poor little book sat on my bookshelf and was nearly forgotten about until earlier this week. When I finally did pick it up, I was filled with awe and excitement; the recipes are exactly what I need in my life now! Why didn't I remember this book when I was sick of vegan comfort food, and craving whole grains and healthier foods? This book is it! She uses healthy, whole ingredients, whole wheat or gluten free flours, unrefined sugars, minimal oils, and the recipes are unique and awesome! I have yet to make anything except the "Tamari Chickpeas" but I expect this cookbook will become THE cookbook that I use from now on. I would also like to pick up one of her other cookbooks, "Vive Le Vegan."
This just makes me realized the importance of the Vegan Transition; moving from exciting, hearty comfort food dishes (in order to get you motivated and thrilled with the vegan diet) and onto lighter, healthier dishes (in order to maintain health and balance). I wish more writers would include this ideal in their books. If I realized there was somewhere to go beyond "vegan mac n cheese" and pancakes besides a life of salad, I wouldn't have stressed out so bad when I got fed up with comfort food! You know, I could always write a book like that. Haha there I go with my ambitious ideas again! But I really could...I also need to finish my novel though.
And my second favorite of the week is Living Harvest Hempmilk. I was recommended hemp milk by a worker at Fresh Vitamins (a store at Westwood specializing in vitamins, raw, and vegan products!) and then saw it again recommended on Dreena Burton's blog. When I wanted to make "Simple baking powder biscuits" from Sarah Kramer's La Dolce Vegan, I realized I would need non-dairy milk halfway through sifting my flour mixture. So I sped to QFC and decided to try out the hemp milk (I bought the "Original" flavor.) The biscuits turned out amazing (I made them with whole wheat pastry flour) and after I tasted the hemp milk alone, I fell in love and ended up drinking the rest by the glass over the next couple days. Today I bought the chocolate flavor at Fresh Vitamins and can't wait to try that!
Fresh Vitamins is worth mentioning here alone. Today was only my second visit to the store, and I just have to recommend it to anyone living in the West Seattle/White Center area who is interested in raw, vegan, and gluten free products. While their selection isn't HUGE, they do have a lot of stuff you can't find other places, such as a GIANT tub of Really Raw Honey. Some of their items are also a little pricier, but they are worth supporting. I look forward to shopping there during my walks to Westwood. They carry my favorite bread (Food For Life Sprouted Bread), vegan chicken nuggets, Nana's cookies, Kombucha, Lydia's live food products, and so much more that I probably haven't even noticed yet.
And now I should probably get ready to go to work!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Week One!!!! Updates
I am now on Day 10 of my Addiction Free Diet Experiment, but let's round off Week 1 first.
I left you off on Day 6, where I felt great and already seeing and feeling wonderful results. On Day 7, I had plans to hang out with my two friends, Robin and Leif. We were planning to go out to lunch and I was undecided about what to eat. While Leif will eat just about anything and Robin is used to me and my vegan ways AND enjoys vegan food in general, I felt like I'd be a party-pooper if I made us go somewhere just to get a side salad. So I deliberated for awhile; I was already feeling really good and felt in control so I kind of wanted to eat something tasty and fun without worrying about whether it followed my Addiction Free principles 100%. Then again, I told myself I would try this for at least two weeks. But I was in a calm, peaceful state, knowing that whatever happened, even if I went off the deep end, I could always pick myself back up again.
We ended up going to this delicious Pho restaurant on Broadway called Pho 99 and it turns out they have amazing vegan pho (the best veggie pho I've had) along with a small vegan section included on their menu. They even had fresh young coconut juice served right out of the coconut with a straw and spoon! So that's what Robin and I both ordered, while Leif tried the chicken pho for the first time. I felt really healthy, even though I ate my entire bowl and despite the fact that I was violating the following principles: Raw till dinner (it was a late lunch), no refined foods (I'm pretty sure the noodles are white rice as opposed to brown and I had my share of hot sauce and hoisin sauce), and eat only until satisfied (I could have stopped about 2/3 through my bowl). But since these are my own principles, and they were violated in a peaceful, joyous state, I didn't feel guilty or like a failure.
After our lunch, Robin and I hung out at my house. We were bored and I was feeling a little snacky (no matter how much pho I eat, I'm always hungry one or two hours later!), but not hungry enough for a full dinner. I was craving goji berries and Kombucha and thought it would be nice to just chill and have a fun little relaxing snack and watch a movie. As much as I love hanging out with my friends doing anything, I have to admit that I have the most fun when I'm EATING with friends (I know, that's not the best mentality or food-association for a recovering food addict, but it's true.) So that brought us to PCC. The first unexpected thing that happened is I stumbled upon Nana's cookies- these vegan, ultra healthy, no refined sugar (fruit juice sweetened), some gluten free, all whole grain cookies that I read about on the Skinny Bitch website. I was really excited to find them and, with a wee bit of giddy guilt, decided I would just enjoy a "fun day" where I would allow myself some healthy treats in celebration of being social and having fun with friends. But then it went a step too far when we decided to also make stove popped popcorn (I'd never made my own popcorn before and Robin was gonna show me how).
So we went back to my house, made a HUGE bowl of popcorn covered in salt, vegan butter, and nutritional yeast (VERY delicious), watched a movie, ate my cookie, drank my Kombucha, and then went to town devouring an entire CUP of goji berries. I actually felt perfect until I ate all those goji's. They definitely made for an improper food combination, and I SHOULD have pre-measured them into a very small serving. I just wasn't expecting to eat the entire 1 cup serving that I had bought. But my lesson was learned: even if I think I won't eat a large amount, I might...or more likely WILL...unless I pre-measure. Especially if I'm snacking while watching tv or a movie. Sheesh. I should have known better.
So after this, I was feeling a little guilty and disappointed in myself. I took one step off the path, then another, then another until I was overeating all over again. But this time I did something different. I stopped the self-loathing. I got out pen and paper and wrote affirmations. I wrote all the things that I want to be true, all the things that make me feel good about myself. I wrote things like: I DO have control over my eating, I DO make the best decisions for my life, my health and my body, I have the perfect body, I am healthy, happy, and full of joy, I am full of life force energy. By the time the page was filled up, I felt great. I didn't even feel too over-full anymore. Most importantly, I changed my energy from negative and destructive to positive. If I can remember all the things I've learned throughout my life about the power of the mind and the 'Law of Attraction,' I should know that it's really there in the mind that the problems or solutions lie. Addiction is in the mind. Mind-cravings can be overcome. The mind can be made to become quiet. I can eat what I desire and feel good about it- especially if I eat foods that I know are pure, healthy, and life-force generating.
So there ends my Week 1.
-Experiment Experience Summary: End of week weight: 114.5 lbs (very low for me!). Although I did not follow my principles and rules 100%, I overcame all obstacles. Overall, a VERY positive experience. I can see myself eating this way for the majority of my days, and then also experiencing days like Day 7 (minus the overeating at the end of the night.) I am developing more peace and clarity every day.
-Groceries Spent (Day 1 - Day 7): appx. $59 ($47 necessities/$12 unnecessary snacks)(Robin bought my lunch at Pho, but that probably cost about $10 max.)
Now today is Day 10. For the sake of not being redundant, I'm not going to give a summary of everything I'm eating this week. I'm still following my principles (eating mostly raw, not eating until hungry, etc.) and I'm still on a budget and trying to buy only what I need. My weight is pretty stable, 114/115.5 and my body feels good.
On Monday (Day 8), I had a little uh-oh with half a bar of chocolate that I've been hiding from myself. It was a revealing moment, showing me just how similar food-addictions are to drug and alcohol addictions. If you have it in the house, you will eat it/use it/drink it. I didn't want the chocolate at all last week, but then I got a tiny craving, remembered it was there, and ate it "so I could just get it out of the house already and not have to think about it anymore." It was a truly pathetic and low thing for me to do, and I knew it. So I wrote affirmations, reminded myself I have control and can always transform my body and mind with the next choice I make, and moved on. Yesterday, Day 9, went perfect. I had an all-raw day (I was pretty stuffed from that chocolate) with lots of fruit, an avocado, a raw snack bar, and a big, raw salad. I even took a nice long walk to Westwood village. I'll probably take another long walk there today, just for fun. Also, Robin and I are trying to have a Food/Movie night once a week, similar to last Sunday. It will be really nice if we can stick to it, because I rarely hang out with friends unless my band is playing a show or there's something truly extravagant to do. It will be fun to make a new yummy (healthy) recipe every week and watch some new movies. Sometimes I feel like a hermit :( I don't try to be, but I don't mind being alone, peaceful, reading, writing, so I tend to come off as a little anti-social...especially since the biggest, most popular social activity is drinking and I don't drink. Anyhow, tonight is this week's Food/Movie night and we are making fresh spring rolls and avocado/cucumber/brown rice sushi. YUM!
A new development for this week is that I'm focusing on balancing my own health with the health and happiness of my boyfriend, Brian. Last year, there was a time when we would always go shopping together and I would find meals we could both eat like curry and rice, pasta, veggie burritos (I would just add meat to his curry or cheese to his burrito, etc, to make it more enjoyable for him) with a big salad or steamed veggies on the side. We would shop at places like Trader Joes (very affordable, lots of vegan and healthy options for the most part) and I would make our dinners every night and then I would pack Brian a healthy, balanced lunch to take to work in the morning (salad, a sandwich, veggie chips, etc.) He told me he missed eating this way, and I realize I do miss cooking for both of us and we do save a lot of money when we share common items. The foods aren't quite as fresh or 'perfect' (eating canned curry, canned vegan chili, etc, instead of making it from scratch) but right now, that is what will fit into my budget. And that's all I ask of myself. Doing my best to benefit my health while remaining within my budget, living a life of happiness and freedom.
Looking forward to a wonderful week! Lots of joy!
I left you off on Day 6, where I felt great and already seeing and feeling wonderful results. On Day 7, I had plans to hang out with my two friends, Robin and Leif. We were planning to go out to lunch and I was undecided about what to eat. While Leif will eat just about anything and Robin is used to me and my vegan ways AND enjoys vegan food in general, I felt like I'd be a party-pooper if I made us go somewhere just to get a side salad. So I deliberated for awhile; I was already feeling really good and felt in control so I kind of wanted to eat something tasty and fun without worrying about whether it followed my Addiction Free principles 100%. Then again, I told myself I would try this for at least two weeks. But I was in a calm, peaceful state, knowing that whatever happened, even if I went off the deep end, I could always pick myself back up again.
We ended up going to this delicious Pho restaurant on Broadway called Pho 99 and it turns out they have amazing vegan pho (the best veggie pho I've had) along with a small vegan section included on their menu. They even had fresh young coconut juice served right out of the coconut with a straw and spoon! So that's what Robin and I both ordered, while Leif tried the chicken pho for the first time. I felt really healthy, even though I ate my entire bowl and despite the fact that I was violating the following principles: Raw till dinner (it was a late lunch), no refined foods (I'm pretty sure the noodles are white rice as opposed to brown and I had my share of hot sauce and hoisin sauce), and eat only until satisfied (I could have stopped about 2/3 through my bowl). But since these are my own principles, and they were violated in a peaceful, joyous state, I didn't feel guilty or like a failure.
After our lunch, Robin and I hung out at my house. We were bored and I was feeling a little snacky (no matter how much pho I eat, I'm always hungry one or two hours later!), but not hungry enough for a full dinner. I was craving goji berries and Kombucha and thought it would be nice to just chill and have a fun little relaxing snack and watch a movie. As much as I love hanging out with my friends doing anything, I have to admit that I have the most fun when I'm EATING with friends (I know, that's not the best mentality or food-association for a recovering food addict, but it's true.) So that brought us to PCC. The first unexpected thing that happened is I stumbled upon Nana's cookies- these vegan, ultra healthy, no refined sugar (fruit juice sweetened), some gluten free, all whole grain cookies that I read about on the Skinny Bitch website. I was really excited to find them and, with a wee bit of giddy guilt, decided I would just enjoy a "fun day" where I would allow myself some healthy treats in celebration of being social and having fun with friends. But then it went a step too far when we decided to also make stove popped popcorn (I'd never made my own popcorn before and Robin was gonna show me how).
So we went back to my house, made a HUGE bowl of popcorn covered in salt, vegan butter, and nutritional yeast (VERY delicious), watched a movie, ate my cookie, drank my Kombucha, and then went to town devouring an entire CUP of goji berries. I actually felt perfect until I ate all those goji's. They definitely made for an improper food combination, and I SHOULD have pre-measured them into a very small serving. I just wasn't expecting to eat the entire 1 cup serving that I had bought. But my lesson was learned: even if I think I won't eat a large amount, I might...or more likely WILL...unless I pre-measure. Especially if I'm snacking while watching tv or a movie. Sheesh. I should have known better.
So after this, I was feeling a little guilty and disappointed in myself. I took one step off the path, then another, then another until I was overeating all over again. But this time I did something different. I stopped the self-loathing. I got out pen and paper and wrote affirmations. I wrote all the things that I want to be true, all the things that make me feel good about myself. I wrote things like: I DO have control over my eating, I DO make the best decisions for my life, my health and my body, I have the perfect body, I am healthy, happy, and full of joy, I am full of life force energy. By the time the page was filled up, I felt great. I didn't even feel too over-full anymore. Most importantly, I changed my energy from negative and destructive to positive. If I can remember all the things I've learned throughout my life about the power of the mind and the 'Law of Attraction,' I should know that it's really there in the mind that the problems or solutions lie. Addiction is in the mind. Mind-cravings can be overcome. The mind can be made to become quiet. I can eat what I desire and feel good about it- especially if I eat foods that I know are pure, healthy, and life-force generating.
So there ends my Week 1.
-Experiment Experience Summary: End of week weight: 114.5 lbs (very low for me!). Although I did not follow my principles and rules 100%, I overcame all obstacles. Overall, a VERY positive experience. I can see myself eating this way for the majority of my days, and then also experiencing days like Day 7 (minus the overeating at the end of the night.) I am developing more peace and clarity every day.
-Groceries Spent (Day 1 - Day 7): appx. $59 ($47 necessities/$12 unnecessary snacks)(Robin bought my lunch at Pho, but that probably cost about $10 max.)
Now today is Day 10. For the sake of not being redundant, I'm not going to give a summary of everything I'm eating this week. I'm still following my principles (eating mostly raw, not eating until hungry, etc.) and I'm still on a budget and trying to buy only what I need. My weight is pretty stable, 114/115.5 and my body feels good.
On Monday (Day 8), I had a little uh-oh with half a bar of chocolate that I've been hiding from myself. It was a revealing moment, showing me just how similar food-addictions are to drug and alcohol addictions. If you have it in the house, you will eat it/use it/drink it. I didn't want the chocolate at all last week, but then I got a tiny craving, remembered it was there, and ate it "so I could just get it out of the house already and not have to think about it anymore." It was a truly pathetic and low thing for me to do, and I knew it. So I wrote affirmations, reminded myself I have control and can always transform my body and mind with the next choice I make, and moved on. Yesterday, Day 9, went perfect. I had an all-raw day (I was pretty stuffed from that chocolate) with lots of fruit, an avocado, a raw snack bar, and a big, raw salad. I even took a nice long walk to Westwood village. I'll probably take another long walk there today, just for fun. Also, Robin and I are trying to have a Food/Movie night once a week, similar to last Sunday. It will be really nice if we can stick to it, because I rarely hang out with friends unless my band is playing a show or there's something truly extravagant to do. It will be fun to make a new yummy (healthy) recipe every week and watch some new movies. Sometimes I feel like a hermit :( I don't try to be, but I don't mind being alone, peaceful, reading, writing, so I tend to come off as a little anti-social...especially since the biggest, most popular social activity is drinking and I don't drink. Anyhow, tonight is this week's Food/Movie night and we are making fresh spring rolls and avocado/cucumber/brown rice sushi. YUM!
A new development for this week is that I'm focusing on balancing my own health with the health and happiness of my boyfriend, Brian. Last year, there was a time when we would always go shopping together and I would find meals we could both eat like curry and rice, pasta, veggie burritos (I would just add meat to his curry or cheese to his burrito, etc, to make it more enjoyable for him) with a big salad or steamed veggies on the side. We would shop at places like Trader Joes (very affordable, lots of vegan and healthy options for the most part) and I would make our dinners every night and then I would pack Brian a healthy, balanced lunch to take to work in the morning (salad, a sandwich, veggie chips, etc.) He told me he missed eating this way, and I realize I do miss cooking for both of us and we do save a lot of money when we share common items. The foods aren't quite as fresh or 'perfect' (eating canned curry, canned vegan chili, etc, instead of making it from scratch) but right now, that is what will fit into my budget. And that's all I ask of myself. Doing my best to benefit my health while remaining within my budget, living a life of happiness and freedom.
Looking forward to a wonderful week! Lots of joy!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Day Six, Skinny Bitch
I'm on Day 6 and I'm feeling awesome. Things really started to turn around for me after Day 3. I had really bad dessert cravings after dinner on Day 3. I just kept thinking about dates, goji berries, and Raw-zins (raw version of raisin-ettes) but I knew I was full and satisfied and realized it was just my addiction talking. On Day 4, I felt thinner and no longer bloated. Toward the afternoon I realized I was in an awesome mood and had great energy. I was feeling positive about life and started using affirmations again like I used to. I affirmed having the perfect body, earning an abundant income. I also re-read Skinny Bitch, the book that got me to fall in love with being vegan, but more on that later. And my days just keep getting better and better. I'm loosing weight again. I'm feeling in control. Here's a summary of the past couple days:
Day 4: 116.5 lbs
-Big glass of mango, banana, and kale smoothie (9:10am). -2 carrots (4pm) -Salad w/mixed greens, kale, avocado, cucumber, tomato, garlic, onion, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and herbs/spices (YUM!) served with blanched asparagus and leftover brown rice
Day 5: 115 lbs
-Pear (11:45am). -2 carrots (3:45pm). -Salad w/mixed greens, kale, olives, garlic, red onion, cucumber, tomato, vinegar, and seasonings (not as good with these olives; Olives of Love from PCC are THE BEST! also, kale tastes better to me with avocado, not so much with olives) served with blanched broccoli and one cup whole wheat noodles tossed with garlic + seasonings, tomato, and olives.
-Groceries purchased: Romaine lettuce @QFC, avocado, 2 heads broccoli, 2 small containers fresh olives, 2 roma tomatoes, garlic, cucumber. $19
Day 6 (today): 114.5 lbs
-felt hungry upon waking so I had lemon cayenne water (9:30am). -Still hungry; grapefruit (10am) -Later I will probably have a banana, then 2 carrots at work on break, and then when I get home I will have leftover pasta, more broccoli, and an olive/veggie salad with romaine
So it seems to me that it only takes 5 days to turn my eating habits around. While I wouldn't exactly say that I'm completely free from food addictions and ready to bring back dessert and sweets, I do feel that I am in control. I do feel that I am close to being able to eat whatever I desire WITHOUT overeating or "needing" to eat certain vices over and over again. I'm close to freedom.
And now that my mind is quiet and no longer badgering me with questions, I have discovered many answers that I was seeking. To state a few of these answers: I AM capable of making proper food choices, I AM able to lose weight without eating 100% raw, I CAN eat balanced if I do eat 100% raw, I DON'T NEED to cut out grains, unless I choose to in the future. While I still don't know where exactly this experiment will lead or what my daily eating will look like 2 weeks or 2 months from now, I know this feels good NOW. This is helping me NOW. I can do this NOW. I have freedom from addictions NOW.
-Experiment Experience Summary: Now that I'm over the first 3 days of the detox, I'm feeling wonderful. I am full of life and positive energy. I am positive that I can make the best choices about my body, my diet, and my life. All good things are coming to me!
-Groceries Spent this week (Day 1 - Day 7): appx. $47 (already had whole wheat pasta at home)
Now on to Skinny Bitch (by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin). This is the book I found when I was under terrible stress about my diet and in great need for guidance (I wrote about that it in one of my first blogs.) This book was entertaining, straightforward, and easy for me to understand with their hilarious "attitude" and ways of explaining things. It was a great introduction to facts about nutrition, getting healthy in order to get skinny, eating whole grains and whole, "healthier" forms of sugar, reading labels on all foods in order to determine their quality, and how a vegan diet can promote health and weight loss. It was also an eye-opening look into the world of cruelty to animals used for the food and dairy industries.
I was a little nervous to become vegan, but this book showed me so many vegan foods that were fun and similar to non-vegan foods like mock meats and soy cheese. I bought a few vegan cookbooks and in no time, being vegan was second nature.
But after a while, I realized my weight wasn't budging. I was eating a surplus of delicious, heavy, hearty, AMAZING tasting foods and not GAINING any weight, but I really wanted to LOSE weight. I wanted to be at my perfect weight. I won't go into further detail because I already did so in my earlier blogs, but basically, my desire for pure food brought me to reading Natalia Rose's books and eating raw again. After this, I felt a little mislead by Skinny Bitch. Even though it did head me down the right path and brought me to a better, healthier diet than the one I had before, I just wasn't at my best.
Well, after eating my delicious-yet-overeaten meal at Squid and Ink and being overwhelmed with questions and contemplations, I had the sudden urge to read Skinny Bitch again. The first thing that happened upon this (third) re-read is that I fell in love with being vegan all over again. I remembered all the reasons why I went vegan in the first place. Second, I started noticing things that I hadn't noticed the first two times I read it.
Initially upon reading the book the first time, I was filled with excitement, discovering all the foods and desserts I could make vegan: French toast, veggie burgers, pastas, mac n cheese, brownies, cookies, cupcakes. My focus was baking and creating amazing comfort food meals. I completely overlooked the fact that, while these meals are semi healthy compared to S.A.D food, they should never be eaten in excess and need to be balanced with fresh fruits, vegetables, and greens, EVERY DAY.
And reading it this last time, I realize that they actually say that! They warn against overeating, tell you to eat ONLY UNTIL SATISFIED, eat fruit for breakfast and raw veggies/salad for lunch for optimal results, don't binge, balance your meals, eat appropriate servings. It's all there, I just chose to ignore it.
My main complaint is that they didn't repeat these warnings enough or in a way that can get through thick, addictive skulls like mine. I wonder how many other girls read the book and ended up like me; vegan but overeating and obsessed with desserts. (For all I know it's just me, haha.) Another thing is that the menu plans at the end of the book don't cater to the "fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch" rule. They do state that it is optimal to do so but I do wish they would have included a menu of an ideal eating day for those who have finally finished transitioning from S.A.D. to vegan and want to eat even better. But I also understand that they were targeting a different audience, a beginner audience. People exactly like who I used to be, thinking I "could never go vegan because I would miss cheese and pasta." But unless you re-read it and pay close attention to the ways in which they encourage you to improve your diet, it's hard to move past the transition stage of being vegan. In fact, I knew in the back of my mind that I could be eating lighter and healthier (I knew those molasses cookies were full of refined sugar and flour) I just plain didn't want to. I loved my comfort food and I often chose eating in abundance over losing weight.
So basically, I love this book again because I now fully understand the motive behind Skinny Bitch and how to look at it from different stages. First, as a newbie to the wide, exciting world of vegan food. Second, reading it again to keep myself on track (which didn't last long). And third, reading it from a viewpoint of trying to make the best food choices for myself, overcoming overeating, and remembering the beauty and benefits of a vegan diet.
I recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their diet, especially if you are coming from a hearty diet full of refined flour, refined sugar, meat, and dairy. It makes transitioning to a vegan diet easy and fun. There are so many meals you can make vegan. I've found that almost ANY meal can be veganized. But for those of you who want to lose weight: make sure you keep in mind the suggestions to eat ONLY fresh fruit/fresh juice for breakfast, raw veggies/salad for lunch, and a balanced dinner WHEN YOU ARE READY. This would be a good time to read Raw Food Life Force Energy by Natalia Rose. But another warning: if you do go from being a happy, satisfied vegan to reading RFLFE, don't feel like you need to or should change your diet to include fish or raw goat cheese. There's a reason you went vegan. Unless you are unsatisfied, just stick with it. I'm glad I tried raw goat cheese because I got to make a decision for myself. And while I do believe that it digests beautifully and much easier than nut cheeses and soy cheese, I think I'm ready to say I won't be eating it again. I like not eating dairy. I don't need it.
Happy Saturday everyone (I have to work tonight but then I'll be off to enjoy my night)!!!
Day 4: 116.5 lbs
-Big glass of mango, banana, and kale smoothie (9:10am). -2 carrots (4pm) -Salad w/mixed greens, kale, avocado, cucumber, tomato, garlic, onion, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and herbs/spices (YUM!) served with blanched asparagus and leftover brown rice
Day 5: 115 lbs
-Pear (11:45am). -2 carrots (3:45pm). -Salad w/mixed greens, kale, olives, garlic, red onion, cucumber, tomato, vinegar, and seasonings (not as good with these olives; Olives of Love from PCC are THE BEST! also, kale tastes better to me with avocado, not so much with olives) served with blanched broccoli and one cup whole wheat noodles tossed with garlic + seasonings, tomato, and olives.
-Groceries purchased: Romaine lettuce @QFC, avocado, 2 heads broccoli, 2 small containers fresh olives, 2 roma tomatoes, garlic, cucumber. $19
Day 6 (today): 114.5 lbs
-felt hungry upon waking so I had lemon cayenne water (9:30am). -Still hungry; grapefruit (10am) -Later I will probably have a banana, then 2 carrots at work on break, and then when I get home I will have leftover pasta, more broccoli, and an olive/veggie salad with romaine
So it seems to me that it only takes 5 days to turn my eating habits around. While I wouldn't exactly say that I'm completely free from food addictions and ready to bring back dessert and sweets, I do feel that I am in control. I do feel that I am close to being able to eat whatever I desire WITHOUT overeating or "needing" to eat certain vices over and over again. I'm close to freedom.
And now that my mind is quiet and no longer badgering me with questions, I have discovered many answers that I was seeking. To state a few of these answers: I AM capable of making proper food choices, I AM able to lose weight without eating 100% raw, I CAN eat balanced if I do eat 100% raw, I DON'T NEED to cut out grains, unless I choose to in the future. While I still don't know where exactly this experiment will lead or what my daily eating will look like 2 weeks or 2 months from now, I know this feels good NOW. This is helping me NOW. I can do this NOW. I have freedom from addictions NOW.
-Experiment Experience Summary: Now that I'm over the first 3 days of the detox, I'm feeling wonderful. I am full of life and positive energy. I am positive that I can make the best choices about my body, my diet, and my life. All good things are coming to me!
-Groceries Spent this week (Day 1 - Day 7): appx. $47 (already had whole wheat pasta at home)
Now on to Skinny Bitch (by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin). This is the book I found when I was under terrible stress about my diet and in great need for guidance (I wrote about that it in one of my first blogs.) This book was entertaining, straightforward, and easy for me to understand with their hilarious "attitude" and ways of explaining things. It was a great introduction to facts about nutrition, getting healthy in order to get skinny, eating whole grains and whole, "healthier" forms of sugar, reading labels on all foods in order to determine their quality, and how a vegan diet can promote health and weight loss. It was also an eye-opening look into the world of cruelty to animals used for the food and dairy industries.
I was a little nervous to become vegan, but this book showed me so many vegan foods that were fun and similar to non-vegan foods like mock meats and soy cheese. I bought a few vegan cookbooks and in no time, being vegan was second nature.
But after a while, I realized my weight wasn't budging. I was eating a surplus of delicious, heavy, hearty, AMAZING tasting foods and not GAINING any weight, but I really wanted to LOSE weight. I wanted to be at my perfect weight. I won't go into further detail because I already did so in my earlier blogs, but basically, my desire for pure food brought me to reading Natalia Rose's books and eating raw again. After this, I felt a little mislead by Skinny Bitch. Even though it did head me down the right path and brought me to a better, healthier diet than the one I had before, I just wasn't at my best.
Well, after eating my delicious-yet-overeaten meal at Squid and Ink and being overwhelmed with questions and contemplations, I had the sudden urge to read Skinny Bitch again. The first thing that happened upon this (third) re-read is that I fell in love with being vegan all over again. I remembered all the reasons why I went vegan in the first place. Second, I started noticing things that I hadn't noticed the first two times I read it.
Initially upon reading the book the first time, I was filled with excitement, discovering all the foods and desserts I could make vegan: French toast, veggie burgers, pastas, mac n cheese, brownies, cookies, cupcakes. My focus was baking and creating amazing comfort food meals. I completely overlooked the fact that, while these meals are semi healthy compared to S.A.D food, they should never be eaten in excess and need to be balanced with fresh fruits, vegetables, and greens, EVERY DAY.
And reading it this last time, I realize that they actually say that! They warn against overeating, tell you to eat ONLY UNTIL SATISFIED, eat fruit for breakfast and raw veggies/salad for lunch for optimal results, don't binge, balance your meals, eat appropriate servings. It's all there, I just chose to ignore it.
My main complaint is that they didn't repeat these warnings enough or in a way that can get through thick, addictive skulls like mine. I wonder how many other girls read the book and ended up like me; vegan but overeating and obsessed with desserts. (For all I know it's just me, haha.) Another thing is that the menu plans at the end of the book don't cater to the "fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch" rule. They do state that it is optimal to do so but I do wish they would have included a menu of an ideal eating day for those who have finally finished transitioning from S.A.D. to vegan and want to eat even better. But I also understand that they were targeting a different audience, a beginner audience. People exactly like who I used to be, thinking I "could never go vegan because I would miss cheese and pasta." But unless you re-read it and pay close attention to the ways in which they encourage you to improve your diet, it's hard to move past the transition stage of being vegan. In fact, I knew in the back of my mind that I could be eating lighter and healthier (I knew those molasses cookies were full of refined sugar and flour) I just plain didn't want to. I loved my comfort food and I often chose eating in abundance over losing weight.
So basically, I love this book again because I now fully understand the motive behind Skinny Bitch and how to look at it from different stages. First, as a newbie to the wide, exciting world of vegan food. Second, reading it again to keep myself on track (which didn't last long). And third, reading it from a viewpoint of trying to make the best food choices for myself, overcoming overeating, and remembering the beauty and benefits of a vegan diet.
I recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their diet, especially if you are coming from a hearty diet full of refined flour, refined sugar, meat, and dairy. It makes transitioning to a vegan diet easy and fun. There are so many meals you can make vegan. I've found that almost ANY meal can be veganized. But for those of you who want to lose weight: make sure you keep in mind the suggestions to eat ONLY fresh fruit/fresh juice for breakfast, raw veggies/salad for lunch, and a balanced dinner WHEN YOU ARE READY. This would be a good time to read Raw Food Life Force Energy by Natalia Rose. But another warning: if you do go from being a happy, satisfied vegan to reading RFLFE, don't feel like you need to or should change your diet to include fish or raw goat cheese. There's a reason you went vegan. Unless you are unsatisfied, just stick with it. I'm glad I tried raw goat cheese because I got to make a decision for myself. And while I do believe that it digests beautifully and much easier than nut cheeses and soy cheese, I think I'm ready to say I won't be eating it again. I like not eating dairy. I don't need it.
Happy Saturday everyone (I have to work tonight but then I'll be off to enjoy my night)!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Addiction Free Diet Experiment Update
I am on day 3 of my self-named Addiction Free Diet Experiment. I definitely haven't been over-eating, but I can't say I specifically feel noticeably better. I'm feeling pretty happy and at peace right now, but there have been times during the past three days where I'm a little moody, low on energy, slightly depressed, and full of annoying, unanswerable questions. Today, I also feel a little bloated. Looking at these things as if I were detoxing from an alcohol or drug addiction, this is exactly what should be happening, considering I've cut out some very addictive substances out of my diet.
I haven't had sugar or sweets besides fruit for three days, yet my mind is craving dessert, showing me pictures of cupcakes and candy, leading me to linger in the vegan cookbook section when I really wanted to look in the health section. And I haven't been snacking on whatever I want. I haven't been eating tons of cheesy nut pates or rich sauces. So what have I been eating?
Day 1: Weight 116.5 lbs (pretty normal for the week)
-Green Juice (11am). -Pear (11:30 am). -2 carrots (4pm) -All raw veggie salad with balsamic vinegar with stir fried zucchini, onion, garlic, and red bell pepper and brown rice leftovers (small plate) (8pm) -still hungry so ate 1 1/2 slice of sprouted wheat bread
Day 2: 117.5 lbs
-Green Juice (9am) -green apple (12noon) -Avocado (3pm) -Romaine salad with my favorite "Olives of Love" garlicky seasoned olives from PCC Natural Market and tomatoes and cucumber with blanched asparagus and a baked sweet potato.
-Groceries purchased: olives, asparagus, orange, tomato (can't remember what else) appx. $12 @PCC
Day 3 (today): 117 lbs
-Apple (10am) -Orange (12:30pm) -For dinner I will have a salad with avocado, tomato, cucumber, onion, and garlic with a small serving of brown rice and blanched asparagus.
-Groceries purchased: pear, bananas, kale, salad greens, 2 tomatoes, 2 avocados, red onion, grapefruit, $16 @Pike Place Market
And so far, these are "The Principles;" the guidelines of the diet:
-The first and most important is CUT OUT ALL ADDICTIVE FOODS (I explained those and listed them in my last blog). This is the heart of this experiment. Get myself away from being obsessed with foods that trigger binging, overeating, and guilt.
-Do NOT eat until hungry
-Do drink green juice every day (a goal; I don't expect to accomplish this strictly every day because of my budget)
-EAT RAW TILL DINNER and dinner must be at LEAST half raw. This will usually be a giant raw salad.
-Eat LIGHT TO HEAVY. Start with green juice in the morning (if having) then fruit when first hungry, then raw vegetables later in the day, and then cooked veggies/grains (if having) during dinner only
-EXERCISE every day. A minimum of a comfortable amount of sun salutes ever day. Other forms: walk, jog, yoga, treadmill, wii fit games, etc.)
-EAT ONLY UNTIL SATISFIED
-BUY ORGANIC as much as possible
-BODY BRUSH every day to promote the removal of waste and toxins
It's too early to say much else about my experiment, but this is what I have done so far. I still don't know where this will lead, what shape this diet will take, or what to do once I feel that my "detox" is done. For the sake of getting these questions out of my mind, here's what I've been asking myself for the past three days:
-Am I not eating enough raw food now? -Should I be aiming for an all-raw diet? -Is it possible to eat more raw without hurting my budget? -Should I cut out grains? -Is it ok to include lentils in my few cooked meals? -What about tofu? -Do I want to go back to being strictly vegan and cut out raw goat cheese? -Should I be following one diet/person/book? -Does any one person/book have all the true answers? -Can I include some vegan comfort food dishes in my future? -Can't I just be a little bit of whatever I want to be as long as I am balanced and peaceful with my choices? -Should I read all the nutrition/raw/vegan books I love all over again to give me more direct guidance or should I let go and just let my body/intuition lead me? -Am I capable of making the best choices for my health, body, and diet? -Is being 100% raw the only way I can lose weight? -Do I want to be 100% raw? -Am I just looking for a label (vegan, raw, etc)? -How will I know when my "detox" from my addictive foods is over? -What should I include in my diet after it is over? -Should I stay away from all sweets forever? -Am I capable of eating dessert sparingly without obsessing, overeating, or getting re-addicted to it? -And what about my very small budget right now? -What are the best foods for me to eat in this situation, balancing wholesomeness and price? -Am I just hopeless?
Yes, all these questions and more are constantly running through my mind and causing me a great deal of anxiety. Just a week ago I said I felt "at peace" with my diet. Now I'm questioning everything and I'm not exactly sure what is causing it. All I can do is follow this experiment that I know my "higher self" brought me because I was filled with such an awe as the awareness of my food addiction swept over me. I can't ignore that.
But these questions are annoying me. There is nothing I can do about them now. My "higher self" knows all the answers deep down anyway, I'm sure. It's my mind that does all the contradicting. And who can know what the future will bring? If you live in the now, at peace with the moment, all will be as is meant to be.
I realized this as I was waiting for my bus this morning, just sick and tired of all the questions, all the skepticism, all the contemplating and debating. I stopped the questions and told my mind to be quiet. Only then did I find peace. And answers...
Based on how I've felt, I know there is something wrong with my relationship to food. No matter how nourishing and delicious the food is and how happy it makes me feel, I feel like crap when I overeat, mentally if not physically as well. I want freedom. This is what I have to work with, this is what I intuitively knew would be the first step; removing the addictive foods from my diet, and moving on from there. Take it one day at a time. Live in the now. Write. Learn. Progress. Go with the flow.
And I also realize it's the same with other areas of my life. I'm trying so hard to figure out what to do with my future; go to school, start my own business, concentrate on career. But have I ever mentioned in this blog that I'm writing a book? It's a fantasy novel/possible first in a trilogy that I've been working on for a few years. A few months ago, I decided to undertake a final and complete re-write. It was going so well. I had my own email reading group and I was getting a lot of good feedback. When the stresses of the holidays, my promotion at work, and my new ideas to further my education or career direction, I nearly completely stopped. My focus switched. Yes, my ideas and ambitions are awesome and I'm so excited to start working on them but I really need to focus on one thing at a time. Step One: finish my book. No excuses. Write down my goals, keep them in mind, ask the universe for guidance in achieving them, then let them go. My book is what I have NOW. If I'm meant to follow a different path, then the way will be given when it is time. There is no point stressing and questioning my future when I already have one possibility in the works. I DO want to be a writer. I LOVE writing as much as I love nutrition. I am just as passionate about my books as I am about my vision of helping others with their health and diets. I CAN do both; I can do it all; I can have, be, and do anything. But let's work on one at a time, shall we? Determination is nothing without focus.
And about my budget...yeah, it kinda sucks right now. While I got promoted and received a raise, I'm working a significantly lower amount of hours which means my tips AND paychecks are less. My budget for groceries is embarrassingly small. About $30 this week, unless my paycheck this Friday allows me a little extra, but I'm not so sure about that. But there's nothing I can do about it until I get more hours, find a better paying job, or sell my car. So in the meantime, all I can do is buy the healthiest, highest quality foods I can afford, as much raw produce as I can afford, and whatever else I can afford that will nourish and satisfy me best without contributing to my food addictions. And this will be good for my experiment. People are always saying that eating healthy is too expensive. So I will do my best to prove them wrong and eat a mostly raw diet and include the highest quality cooked foods like steamed veggies, sweet potatoes, and maybe beans and tofu (both very affordable, although not perfectly ideal-but hey, I'm here to do MY best!) I'll record all the money I spend on food, record my results, and share them.
-Experiment Experience Summary: Fighting the detox against sweets, too many questions in my mind, but I'm finding clarity. Go with the flow. Be the best that I can be for ME in my situation with my needs.
-Groceries Spent this week: appx. $28 combined with a few staples I already have (brown rice, etc.)
I haven't had sugar or sweets besides fruit for three days, yet my mind is craving dessert, showing me pictures of cupcakes and candy, leading me to linger in the vegan cookbook section when I really wanted to look in the health section. And I haven't been snacking on whatever I want. I haven't been eating tons of cheesy nut pates or rich sauces. So what have I been eating?
Day 1: Weight 116.5 lbs (pretty normal for the week)
-Green Juice (11am). -Pear (11:30 am). -2 carrots (4pm) -All raw veggie salad with balsamic vinegar with stir fried zucchini, onion, garlic, and red bell pepper and brown rice leftovers (small plate) (8pm) -still hungry so ate 1 1/2 slice of sprouted wheat bread
Day 2: 117.5 lbs
-Green Juice (9am) -green apple (12noon) -Avocado (3pm) -Romaine salad with my favorite "Olives of Love" garlicky seasoned olives from PCC Natural Market and tomatoes and cucumber with blanched asparagus and a baked sweet potato.
-Groceries purchased: olives, asparagus, orange, tomato (can't remember what else) appx. $12 @PCC
Day 3 (today): 117 lbs
-Apple (10am) -Orange (12:30pm) -For dinner I will have a salad with avocado, tomato, cucumber, onion, and garlic with a small serving of brown rice and blanched asparagus.
-Groceries purchased: pear, bananas, kale, salad greens, 2 tomatoes, 2 avocados, red onion, grapefruit, $16 @Pike Place Market
And so far, these are "The Principles;" the guidelines of the diet:
-The first and most important is CUT OUT ALL ADDICTIVE FOODS (I explained those and listed them in my last blog). This is the heart of this experiment. Get myself away from being obsessed with foods that trigger binging, overeating, and guilt.
-Do NOT eat until hungry
-Do drink green juice every day (a goal; I don't expect to accomplish this strictly every day because of my budget)
-EAT RAW TILL DINNER and dinner must be at LEAST half raw. This will usually be a giant raw salad.
-Eat LIGHT TO HEAVY. Start with green juice in the morning (if having) then fruit when first hungry, then raw vegetables later in the day, and then cooked veggies/grains (if having) during dinner only
-EXERCISE every day. A minimum of a comfortable amount of sun salutes ever day. Other forms: walk, jog, yoga, treadmill, wii fit games, etc.)
-EAT ONLY UNTIL SATISFIED
-BUY ORGANIC as much as possible
-BODY BRUSH every day to promote the removal of waste and toxins
It's too early to say much else about my experiment, but this is what I have done so far. I still don't know where this will lead, what shape this diet will take, or what to do once I feel that my "detox" is done. For the sake of getting these questions out of my mind, here's what I've been asking myself for the past three days:
-Am I not eating enough raw food now? -Should I be aiming for an all-raw diet? -Is it possible to eat more raw without hurting my budget? -Should I cut out grains? -Is it ok to include lentils in my few cooked meals? -What about tofu? -Do I want to go back to being strictly vegan and cut out raw goat cheese? -Should I be following one diet/person/book? -Does any one person/book have all the true answers? -Can I include some vegan comfort food dishes in my future? -Can't I just be a little bit of whatever I want to be as long as I am balanced and peaceful with my choices? -Should I read all the nutrition/raw/vegan books I love all over again to give me more direct guidance or should I let go and just let my body/intuition lead me? -Am I capable of making the best choices for my health, body, and diet? -Is being 100% raw the only way I can lose weight? -Do I want to be 100% raw? -Am I just looking for a label (vegan, raw, etc)? -How will I know when my "detox" from my addictive foods is over? -What should I include in my diet after it is over? -Should I stay away from all sweets forever? -Am I capable of eating dessert sparingly without obsessing, overeating, or getting re-addicted to it? -And what about my very small budget right now? -What are the best foods for me to eat in this situation, balancing wholesomeness and price? -Am I just hopeless?
Yes, all these questions and more are constantly running through my mind and causing me a great deal of anxiety. Just a week ago I said I felt "at peace" with my diet. Now I'm questioning everything and I'm not exactly sure what is causing it. All I can do is follow this experiment that I know my "higher self" brought me because I was filled with such an awe as the awareness of my food addiction swept over me. I can't ignore that.
But these questions are annoying me. There is nothing I can do about them now. My "higher self" knows all the answers deep down anyway, I'm sure. It's my mind that does all the contradicting. And who can know what the future will bring? If you live in the now, at peace with the moment, all will be as is meant to be.
I realized this as I was waiting for my bus this morning, just sick and tired of all the questions, all the skepticism, all the contemplating and debating. I stopped the questions and told my mind to be quiet. Only then did I find peace. And answers...
Based on how I've felt, I know there is something wrong with my relationship to food. No matter how nourishing and delicious the food is and how happy it makes me feel, I feel like crap when I overeat, mentally if not physically as well. I want freedom. This is what I have to work with, this is what I intuitively knew would be the first step; removing the addictive foods from my diet, and moving on from there. Take it one day at a time. Live in the now. Write. Learn. Progress. Go with the flow.
And I also realize it's the same with other areas of my life. I'm trying so hard to figure out what to do with my future; go to school, start my own business, concentrate on career. But have I ever mentioned in this blog that I'm writing a book? It's a fantasy novel/possible first in a trilogy that I've been working on for a few years. A few months ago, I decided to undertake a final and complete re-write. It was going so well. I had my own email reading group and I was getting a lot of good feedback. When the stresses of the holidays, my promotion at work, and my new ideas to further my education or career direction, I nearly completely stopped. My focus switched. Yes, my ideas and ambitions are awesome and I'm so excited to start working on them but I really need to focus on one thing at a time. Step One: finish my book. No excuses. Write down my goals, keep them in mind, ask the universe for guidance in achieving them, then let them go. My book is what I have NOW. If I'm meant to follow a different path, then the way will be given when it is time. There is no point stressing and questioning my future when I already have one possibility in the works. I DO want to be a writer. I LOVE writing as much as I love nutrition. I am just as passionate about my books as I am about my vision of helping others with their health and diets. I CAN do both; I can do it all; I can have, be, and do anything. But let's work on one at a time, shall we? Determination is nothing without focus.
And about my budget...yeah, it kinda sucks right now. While I got promoted and received a raise, I'm working a significantly lower amount of hours which means my tips AND paychecks are less. My budget for groceries is embarrassingly small. About $30 this week, unless my paycheck this Friday allows me a little extra, but I'm not so sure about that. But there's nothing I can do about it until I get more hours, find a better paying job, or sell my car. So in the meantime, all I can do is buy the healthiest, highest quality foods I can afford, as much raw produce as I can afford, and whatever else I can afford that will nourish and satisfy me best without contributing to my food addictions. And this will be good for my experiment. People are always saying that eating healthy is too expensive. So I will do my best to prove them wrong and eat a mostly raw diet and include the highest quality cooked foods like steamed veggies, sweet potatoes, and maybe beans and tofu (both very affordable, although not perfectly ideal-but hey, I'm here to do MY best!) I'll record all the money I spend on food, record my results, and share them.
-Experiment Experience Summary: Fighting the detox against sweets, too many questions in my mind, but I'm finding clarity. Go with the flow. Be the best that I can be for ME in my situation with my needs.
-Groceries Spent this week: appx. $28 combined with a few staples I already have (brown rice, etc.)
Monday, January 19, 2009
A New Twist On My Journey
So my vegan comfort meal at Squid and Ink went pretty well. I can't say that I'm exactly impressed with myself and the meal choices I made, but I felt good afterward and I ended up coming across some very powerful realizations as a result...but more on that later.
First, a recap of my meal: I met up with my vegan friend, Brandi (who now lives in Denver) and a few of our other friends at Squid and Ink. It was full of delicious smells and memories of fried, greasy, delicious, warm comfort food. I was torn between ordering something light and simple or ordering something heavy and tempting since my visits to Squid are few and far between. I committed to ordering salad as my side instead of fries, and then decided upon the fatty, heavy dish, Monte Cristo, which is a vegan ham and cheese sandwich grilled between two slices of fluffy french toast. It was so good! We also shared an order of biscuits and gravy and then some fries. I ended up eating my entire meal, plus digging into the shared plates and continued to eat even more still! I was surprised with my appetite and ability to eat WAY more than anyone else at the table. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in myself. While I still had room in my stomach for more, I knew I had had enough once my plate was empty. But I just kept eating. I wanted more. I wanted to taste those rare flavors over and over again.
For the rest of the day, I managed to stay away from eating until dinner, which consisted of an all raw veggie salad followed by a small bowl of seasoned nuts and about two Tbsp almond butter rolled in cocoa powder (that was my dessert tick going off.) But throughout the day, I kept thinking about all those vegan comfort food meals I used to enjoy on a regular basis, and I started missing them. I could almost hear the forces arguing within me. One would say, "Oh, but you love vegan junk food! It's so good! And look, you felt fine afterward. You should eat like this more often." And the other voice would remind me, "I could never lose weight when I ate like that every day. I felt like crap. I felt heavy. I love the direction in which my new body is going. I love eating raw. I love eating light. I love feeling good and full of life force engery."
As I was preparing for bed, I started writing in my journal about my day and about my experience at Squid and Ink, working out reasons for why I ate so much more than every body else. I started thinking about the foods that inspire binging. I thought about the foods I can eat easily without over eating.
And then a lightbulb went off and everything made sense: I'm addicted to certain foods and tastes. Just like alcohol.
In April 2007, I quit drinking. I realized my drinking was out of control. It wasn't that I was a traditional alcoholic in the usual sense. I didn't need to drink every day, I didn't drink when I was alone. But when I did drink, I couldn't stop. I would keep drinking far beyond my limit until I became a different person. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated the person I became when drunk. I hated the mornings where I would wake up with no idea how the previous night ended. I was hurting myself and my boyfriend, Brian. I tried moderation and control but all my good intentions about how I would have "just one beer" would quickly fly out the door once that one beer was consumed and I would wind up with a wild night and horrible hangover. While I've never done anything too crazy in comparison with other people I know, my behavior while drinking is too crazy for me. I have high standards for myself and my bahavior. I know I am capable of controlling my behavior; I've proven it by quitting drinking. While I still get occasional cravings and temptations, I have so far stayed true to my word.
Last night, I made the connection between my problems with alcohol and my obsessive over eating. I'm a binger. Certain foods trigger binging and overeating. I will eat large portions of these food and eat them until I am far beyond full. Or I will eat a small serving and then constantly think about getting seconds until I do.
I took the first step, and admitted my problem.
First; the worst; sweets. All forms of sweets and sugar trigger binging. If I make an entire batch of cookies, I can never eat just one. Ever. If I make an entire raw cake, I need to eat slice after slice until I'm nauseous and physically can't eat more. If I eat a few pieces of chocolate or a few raisins, a couple minutes later I'm back in the kitchen for the other half of the bar or for an entire bowl of raisins. This category includes all sugars, raw or not, refined or natural, all pastries, raw desserts, sweet dried fruits, raw honey, and chocolate.
Next is fats. All things heavy and fatty have triggered binging. Nuts, being the easiest of fats for me to overeat, are also the hardest to give up because they are so much a part of the raw diet. But I have already experienced overeating with nuts the first time I went raw, and have seen the dangers. There are a lot of raw foodists who base the majority of their diet around nuts, especially newbies; people who need a lot of desserts and "raw gourmet" dishes in order to feel satisfied. If they find success and balance while doing so, then wonderful. More power to them. But I know I need balance. It's hard for me to eat just a small portion of nuts, nut pate, or nut dessert. I look back to last week when I ate "Raw soft tacos" made with cashew cheese, walnut meat, and topped with salsa and wrapped in a collard green. I would eat two very full tacos and follow them by two slices of raw cheesecake. It is so upsetting to look back on this because I already know that's not balanced. I've already gotten a kidney infection. Yet I ate this way for multiple days in a row, even after I was feeling heavy and dense. One of my main obstacles is learning how to make only what I can eat without overeating. Many raw recipes make large batches and as I am the only one in my house eating them, I have to eat as much as I can for days in a row until it's all gone so I don't waste anything. But if I am ever to eat nut-heavy recipes again, I MUST find a way to eat appropriate servings and balance my week by alternating with cleansing meals after the heavy meals. Always. No excuses.
Other fatty foods that trigger binging are olives, coconut oil, oil-heavy sauces, anything deep fried, and cheese or anything "cheesey," especially in the form of melted cheese, cheese and starch combo, or cheesy sauces. This includes vegan cheese and nut cheese as well. The only cheese I'm not sure of is raw goat cheese. Since I eat it so rarely and only as a component to a raw salad or as a small topping to another veggie dish, I don't think it triggers binging. But if I do continue to eat raw goat cheese, I will keep an eye on my reactions.
And the last category is Carbs/Starches/Grains. I can easily eat too much rice, bread, crackers, pita, potatoes, and mock meats. The foods I'm unsure of is lentils/tofu. I don't think I have ever experienced binging on beans or tofu unless they are components of a burrito, and in that case I end up eating too many. And I know that soy is supposedly highly mucus forming and inharmonious, according to Natalia rose, but I have a feeling that soy in the simple form of tofu (like in a tofu-veggie scramble) would be fine on occasion. While I still want my diet to be mainly raw, I also want to include the occasional cooked side dish.
Now onto the list of things I can eat safely without binging. This includes all raw vegetables, all greens, most fruits (as long as I only eat one at a time during the day and never for dessert), avacados, and cooked non-starch veggies. Foods I know I can handle with the proper awareness and portion control are sweet potatoes (only if I bake one at a time without sugar), brown rice (one cup allowance), sprouted grain bread (one or two slices at the most), raw goat cheese (not melted or combined with starches of any kind like crackers or tortillas), olives (just a few here and there on a salad), and goji berries (pre-measured as a snack.)
So this left me with a lot of questions. Questions about myself, about my eating patterns. About what I've read in my favorite books and what I've been told. I realize that there are a few things I agree with and a few things I don't, based on MY OWN experiences for MY SELF. I agree that raw food in the form of fruits and veggies are highly life enhancing and the best for the body. I do NOT agree that you can eat as much raw food in the form of nuts and seeds and oils in any combination and in any amount. I believe you CAN include nuts, seeds, and oils in a diet but only if your portions are balanced and kept lower in proportion to your amount of fresh, raw greens and veggies in the meal. I believe that you can enjoy dessert in healthier forms but I DO NOT agree that you can eat as much dessert as you want, guilt free, in any form raw or not. All desserts and sweets should be eaten with awareness and balance and not become routine. If you are like me, and you obesessively need to eat dessert every night after dinner, then you should abstain from dessert at least until you no longer feel you need it. Because, being honest, you don't. It's fun and delicious and a wonderful treat, but if it is making you feel like crap or you are obsessing over sweets, or you are eating more than you know is necessary, than it is harming your mentality and in turn, your life force engergy.
So where does this leave me now? Well, I thought about moderation. I could cut back on nuts, eat dessert only a few days here and there. But has that ever worked with other addictive substances? Did moderation work for me when I was an obsessive over-drinker? No. The only thing that has ever helped me overcome an addiction is to give it up completely. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm undertaking a new experiement. I'm designing my OWN diet, based on common sense about my own needs. My first step is to rid my body of these addictive foods. All of them. It will be my initial detox. While I can't imagine abstaining from nuts and dessert forever, I'm thinking I will "detox" for at least two weeks, but I am aiming for 21 days, maybe even one month. As this is my own experiement, I will take it day by day, keep note of how I feel, and adjust as neccesary. If I no longer crave dessert after two weeks, then I'll know I'm ready to include some sweets like dried fruits or a piece of chocolate. Or maybe once I'm free from my dessert obsession, I'll want to stay away for even longer. I KNOW abstaining from dessert and gaining freedom in this way will help because I've done it before. I remember when I went to Europe, I felt the best on the days when I didn't eat sweets. Most of the time, I didn't even have access to any vegan sweets to begin with. It wasn't until I got home and got back into baking when I starting eating desserts compulsively again.
So I am excited about this new path in my journey. I don't know how it will go in the long run. Maybe, just maybe, I've discovered something extraordinary for myself. Today is day one of the Addiction Free Diet.
Let's see how it goes!
First, a recap of my meal: I met up with my vegan friend, Brandi (who now lives in Denver) and a few of our other friends at Squid and Ink. It was full of delicious smells and memories of fried, greasy, delicious, warm comfort food. I was torn between ordering something light and simple or ordering something heavy and tempting since my visits to Squid are few and far between. I committed to ordering salad as my side instead of fries, and then decided upon the fatty, heavy dish, Monte Cristo, which is a vegan ham and cheese sandwich grilled between two slices of fluffy french toast. It was so good! We also shared an order of biscuits and gravy and then some fries. I ended up eating my entire meal, plus digging into the shared plates and continued to eat even more still! I was surprised with my appetite and ability to eat WAY more than anyone else at the table. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in myself. While I still had room in my stomach for more, I knew I had had enough once my plate was empty. But I just kept eating. I wanted more. I wanted to taste those rare flavors over and over again.
For the rest of the day, I managed to stay away from eating until dinner, which consisted of an all raw veggie salad followed by a small bowl of seasoned nuts and about two Tbsp almond butter rolled in cocoa powder (that was my dessert tick going off.) But throughout the day, I kept thinking about all those vegan comfort food meals I used to enjoy on a regular basis, and I started missing them. I could almost hear the forces arguing within me. One would say, "Oh, but you love vegan junk food! It's so good! And look, you felt fine afterward. You should eat like this more often." And the other voice would remind me, "I could never lose weight when I ate like that every day. I felt like crap. I felt heavy. I love the direction in which my new body is going. I love eating raw. I love eating light. I love feeling good and full of life force engery."
As I was preparing for bed, I started writing in my journal about my day and about my experience at Squid and Ink, working out reasons for why I ate so much more than every body else. I started thinking about the foods that inspire binging. I thought about the foods I can eat easily without over eating.
And then a lightbulb went off and everything made sense: I'm addicted to certain foods and tastes. Just like alcohol.
In April 2007, I quit drinking. I realized my drinking was out of control. It wasn't that I was a traditional alcoholic in the usual sense. I didn't need to drink every day, I didn't drink when I was alone. But when I did drink, I couldn't stop. I would keep drinking far beyond my limit until I became a different person. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated the person I became when drunk. I hated the mornings where I would wake up with no idea how the previous night ended. I was hurting myself and my boyfriend, Brian. I tried moderation and control but all my good intentions about how I would have "just one beer" would quickly fly out the door once that one beer was consumed and I would wind up with a wild night and horrible hangover. While I've never done anything too crazy in comparison with other people I know, my behavior while drinking is too crazy for me. I have high standards for myself and my bahavior. I know I am capable of controlling my behavior; I've proven it by quitting drinking. While I still get occasional cravings and temptations, I have so far stayed true to my word.
Last night, I made the connection between my problems with alcohol and my obsessive over eating. I'm a binger. Certain foods trigger binging and overeating. I will eat large portions of these food and eat them until I am far beyond full. Or I will eat a small serving and then constantly think about getting seconds until I do.
I took the first step, and admitted my problem.
First; the worst; sweets. All forms of sweets and sugar trigger binging. If I make an entire batch of cookies, I can never eat just one. Ever. If I make an entire raw cake, I need to eat slice after slice until I'm nauseous and physically can't eat more. If I eat a few pieces of chocolate or a few raisins, a couple minutes later I'm back in the kitchen for the other half of the bar or for an entire bowl of raisins. This category includes all sugars, raw or not, refined or natural, all pastries, raw desserts, sweet dried fruits, raw honey, and chocolate.
Next is fats. All things heavy and fatty have triggered binging. Nuts, being the easiest of fats for me to overeat, are also the hardest to give up because they are so much a part of the raw diet. But I have already experienced overeating with nuts the first time I went raw, and have seen the dangers. There are a lot of raw foodists who base the majority of their diet around nuts, especially newbies; people who need a lot of desserts and "raw gourmet" dishes in order to feel satisfied. If they find success and balance while doing so, then wonderful. More power to them. But I know I need balance. It's hard for me to eat just a small portion of nuts, nut pate, or nut dessert. I look back to last week when I ate "Raw soft tacos" made with cashew cheese, walnut meat, and topped with salsa and wrapped in a collard green. I would eat two very full tacos and follow them by two slices of raw cheesecake. It is so upsetting to look back on this because I already know that's not balanced. I've already gotten a kidney infection. Yet I ate this way for multiple days in a row, even after I was feeling heavy and dense. One of my main obstacles is learning how to make only what I can eat without overeating. Many raw recipes make large batches and as I am the only one in my house eating them, I have to eat as much as I can for days in a row until it's all gone so I don't waste anything. But if I am ever to eat nut-heavy recipes again, I MUST find a way to eat appropriate servings and balance my week by alternating with cleansing meals after the heavy meals. Always. No excuses.
Other fatty foods that trigger binging are olives, coconut oil, oil-heavy sauces, anything deep fried, and cheese or anything "cheesey," especially in the form of melted cheese, cheese and starch combo, or cheesy sauces. This includes vegan cheese and nut cheese as well. The only cheese I'm not sure of is raw goat cheese. Since I eat it so rarely and only as a component to a raw salad or as a small topping to another veggie dish, I don't think it triggers binging. But if I do continue to eat raw goat cheese, I will keep an eye on my reactions.
And the last category is Carbs/Starches/Grains. I can easily eat too much rice, bread, crackers, pita, potatoes, and mock meats. The foods I'm unsure of is lentils/tofu. I don't think I have ever experienced binging on beans or tofu unless they are components of a burrito, and in that case I end up eating too many. And I know that soy is supposedly highly mucus forming and inharmonious, according to Natalia rose, but I have a feeling that soy in the simple form of tofu (like in a tofu-veggie scramble) would be fine on occasion. While I still want my diet to be mainly raw, I also want to include the occasional cooked side dish.
Now onto the list of things I can eat safely without binging. This includes all raw vegetables, all greens, most fruits (as long as I only eat one at a time during the day and never for dessert), avacados, and cooked non-starch veggies. Foods I know I can handle with the proper awareness and portion control are sweet potatoes (only if I bake one at a time without sugar), brown rice (one cup allowance), sprouted grain bread (one or two slices at the most), raw goat cheese (not melted or combined with starches of any kind like crackers or tortillas), olives (just a few here and there on a salad), and goji berries (pre-measured as a snack.)
So this left me with a lot of questions. Questions about myself, about my eating patterns. About what I've read in my favorite books and what I've been told. I realize that there are a few things I agree with and a few things I don't, based on MY OWN experiences for MY SELF. I agree that raw food in the form of fruits and veggies are highly life enhancing and the best for the body. I do NOT agree that you can eat as much raw food in the form of nuts and seeds and oils in any combination and in any amount. I believe you CAN include nuts, seeds, and oils in a diet but only if your portions are balanced and kept lower in proportion to your amount of fresh, raw greens and veggies in the meal. I believe that you can enjoy dessert in healthier forms but I DO NOT agree that you can eat as much dessert as you want, guilt free, in any form raw or not. All desserts and sweets should be eaten with awareness and balance and not become routine. If you are like me, and you obesessively need to eat dessert every night after dinner, then you should abstain from dessert at least until you no longer feel you need it. Because, being honest, you don't. It's fun and delicious and a wonderful treat, but if it is making you feel like crap or you are obsessing over sweets, or you are eating more than you know is necessary, than it is harming your mentality and in turn, your life force engergy.
So where does this leave me now? Well, I thought about moderation. I could cut back on nuts, eat dessert only a few days here and there. But has that ever worked with other addictive substances? Did moderation work for me when I was an obsessive over-drinker? No. The only thing that has ever helped me overcome an addiction is to give it up completely. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm undertaking a new experiement. I'm designing my OWN diet, based on common sense about my own needs. My first step is to rid my body of these addictive foods. All of them. It will be my initial detox. While I can't imagine abstaining from nuts and dessert forever, I'm thinking I will "detox" for at least two weeks, but I am aiming for 21 days, maybe even one month. As this is my own experiement, I will take it day by day, keep note of how I feel, and adjust as neccesary. If I no longer crave dessert after two weeks, then I'll know I'm ready to include some sweets like dried fruits or a piece of chocolate. Or maybe once I'm free from my dessert obsession, I'll want to stay away for even longer. I KNOW abstaining from dessert and gaining freedom in this way will help because I've done it before. I remember when I went to Europe, I felt the best on the days when I didn't eat sweets. Most of the time, I didn't even have access to any vegan sweets to begin with. It wasn't until I got home and got back into baking when I starting eating desserts compulsively again.
So I am excited about this new path in my journey. I don't know how it will go in the long run. Maybe, just maybe, I've discovered something extraordinary for myself. Today is day one of the Addiction Free Diet.
Let's see how it goes!
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