I am on day 3 of my self-named Addiction Free Diet Experiment. I definitely haven't been over-eating, but I can't say I specifically feel noticeably better. I'm feeling pretty happy and at peace right now, but there have been times during the past three days where I'm a little moody, low on energy, slightly depressed, and full of annoying, unanswerable questions. Today, I also feel a little bloated. Looking at these things as if I were detoxing from an alcohol or drug addiction, this is exactly what should be happening, considering I've cut out some very addictive substances out of my diet.
I haven't had sugar or sweets besides fruit for three days, yet my mind is craving dessert, showing me pictures of cupcakes and candy, leading me to linger in the vegan cookbook section when I really wanted to look in the health section. And I haven't been snacking on whatever I want. I haven't been eating tons of cheesy nut pates or rich sauces. So what have I been eating?
Day 1: Weight 116.5 lbs (pretty normal for the week)
-Green Juice (11am). -Pear (11:30 am). -2 carrots (4pm) -All raw veggie salad with balsamic vinegar with stir fried zucchini, onion, garlic, and red bell pepper and brown rice leftovers (small plate) (8pm) -still hungry so ate 1 1/2 slice of sprouted wheat bread
Day 2: 117.5 lbs
-Green Juice (9am) -green apple (12noon) -Avocado (3pm) -Romaine salad with my favorite "Olives of Love" garlicky seasoned olives from PCC Natural Market and tomatoes and cucumber with blanched asparagus and a baked sweet potato.
-Groceries purchased: olives, asparagus, orange, tomato (can't remember what else) appx. $12 @PCC
Day 3 (today): 117 lbs
-Apple (10am) -Orange (12:30pm) -For dinner I will have a salad with avocado, tomato, cucumber, onion, and garlic with a small serving of brown rice and blanched asparagus.
-Groceries purchased: pear, bananas, kale, salad greens, 2 tomatoes, 2 avocados, red onion, grapefruit, $16 @Pike Place Market
And so far, these are "The Principles;" the guidelines of the diet:
-The first and most important is CUT OUT ALL ADDICTIVE FOODS (I explained those and listed them in my last blog). This is the heart of this experiment. Get myself away from being obsessed with foods that trigger binging, overeating, and guilt.
-Do NOT eat until hungry
-Do drink green juice every day (a goal; I don't expect to accomplish this strictly every day because of my budget)
-EAT RAW TILL DINNER and dinner must be at LEAST half raw. This will usually be a giant raw salad.
-Eat LIGHT TO HEAVY. Start with green juice in the morning (if having) then fruit when first hungry, then raw vegetables later in the day, and then cooked veggies/grains (if having) during dinner only
-EXERCISE every day. A minimum of a comfortable amount of sun salutes ever day. Other forms: walk, jog, yoga, treadmill, wii fit games, etc.)
-EAT ONLY UNTIL SATISFIED
-BUY ORGANIC as much as possible
-BODY BRUSH every day to promote the removal of waste and toxins
It's too early to say much else about my experiment, but this is what I have done so far. I still don't know where this will lead, what shape this diet will take, or what to do once I feel that my "detox" is done. For the sake of getting these questions out of my mind, here's what I've been asking myself for the past three days:
-Am I not eating enough raw food now? -Should I be aiming for an all-raw diet? -Is it possible to eat more raw without hurting my budget? -Should I cut out grains? -Is it ok to include lentils in my few cooked meals? -What about tofu? -Do I want to go back to being strictly vegan and cut out raw goat cheese? -Should I be following one diet/person/book? -Does any one person/book have all the true answers? -Can I include some vegan comfort food dishes in my future? -Can't I just be a little bit of whatever I want to be as long as I am balanced and peaceful with my choices? -Should I read all the nutrition/raw/vegan books I love all over again to give me more direct guidance or should I let go and just let my body/intuition lead me? -Am I capable of making the best choices for my health, body, and diet? -Is being 100% raw the only way I can lose weight? -Do I want to be 100% raw? -Am I just looking for a label (vegan, raw, etc)? -How will I know when my "detox" from my addictive foods is over? -What should I include in my diet after it is over? -Should I stay away from all sweets forever? -Am I capable of eating dessert sparingly without obsessing, overeating, or getting re-addicted to it? -And what about my very small budget right now? -What are the best foods for me to eat in this situation, balancing wholesomeness and price? -Am I just hopeless?
Yes, all these questions and more are constantly running through my mind and causing me a great deal of anxiety. Just a week ago I said I felt "at peace" with my diet. Now I'm questioning everything and I'm not exactly sure what is causing it. All I can do is follow this experiment that I know my "higher self" brought me because I was filled with such an awe as the awareness of my food addiction swept over me. I can't ignore that.
But these questions are annoying me. There is nothing I can do about them now. My "higher self" knows all the answers deep down anyway, I'm sure. It's my mind that does all the contradicting. And who can know what the future will bring? If you live in the now, at peace with the moment, all will be as is meant to be.
I realized this as I was waiting for my bus this morning, just sick and tired of all the questions, all the skepticism, all the contemplating and debating. I stopped the questions and told my mind to be quiet. Only then did I find peace. And answers...
Based on how I've felt, I know there is something wrong with my relationship to food. No matter how nourishing and delicious the food is and how happy it makes me feel, I feel like crap when I overeat, mentally if not physically as well. I want freedom. This is what I have to work with, this is what I intuitively knew would be the first step; removing the addictive foods from my diet, and moving on from there. Take it one day at a time. Live in the now. Write. Learn. Progress. Go with the flow.
And I also realize it's the same with other areas of my life. I'm trying so hard to figure out what to do with my future; go to school, start my own business, concentrate on career. But have I ever mentioned in this blog that I'm writing a book? It's a fantasy novel/possible first in a trilogy that I've been working on for a few years. A few months ago, I decided to undertake a final and complete re-write. It was going so well. I had my own email reading group and I was getting a lot of good feedback. When the stresses of the holidays, my promotion at work, and my new ideas to further my education or career direction, I nearly completely stopped. My focus switched. Yes, my ideas and ambitions are awesome and I'm so excited to start working on them but I really need to focus on one thing at a time. Step One: finish my book. No excuses. Write down my goals, keep them in mind, ask the universe for guidance in achieving them, then let them go. My book is what I have NOW. If I'm meant to follow a different path, then the way will be given when it is time. There is no point stressing and questioning my future when I already have one possibility in the works. I DO want to be a writer. I LOVE writing as much as I love nutrition. I am just as passionate about my books as I am about my vision of helping others with their health and diets. I CAN do both; I can do it all; I can have, be, and do anything. But let's work on one at a time, shall we? Determination is nothing without focus.
And about my budget...yeah, it kinda sucks right now. While I got promoted and received a raise, I'm working a significantly lower amount of hours which means my tips AND paychecks are less. My budget for groceries is embarrassingly small. About $30 this week, unless my paycheck this Friday allows me a little extra, but I'm not so sure about that. But there's nothing I can do about it until I get more hours, find a better paying job, or sell my car. So in the meantime, all I can do is buy the healthiest, highest quality foods I can afford, as much raw produce as I can afford, and whatever else I can afford that will nourish and satisfy me best without contributing to my food addictions. And this will be good for my experiment. People are always saying that eating healthy is too expensive. So I will do my best to prove them wrong and eat a mostly raw diet and include the highest quality cooked foods like steamed veggies, sweet potatoes, and maybe beans and tofu (both very affordable, although not perfectly ideal-but hey, I'm here to do MY best!) I'll record all the money I spend on food, record my results, and share them.
-Experiment Experience Summary: Fighting the detox against sweets, too many questions in my mind, but I'm finding clarity. Go with the flow. Be the best that I can be for ME in my situation with my needs.
-Groceries Spent this week: appx. $28 combined with a few staples I already have (brown rice, etc.)
Showing posts with label Addicion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Addicion. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
A New Twist On My Journey
So my vegan comfort meal at Squid and Ink went pretty well. I can't say that I'm exactly impressed with myself and the meal choices I made, but I felt good afterward and I ended up coming across some very powerful realizations as a result...but more on that later.
First, a recap of my meal: I met up with my vegan friend, Brandi (who now lives in Denver) and a few of our other friends at Squid and Ink. It was full of delicious smells and memories of fried, greasy, delicious, warm comfort food. I was torn between ordering something light and simple or ordering something heavy and tempting since my visits to Squid are few and far between. I committed to ordering salad as my side instead of fries, and then decided upon the fatty, heavy dish, Monte Cristo, which is a vegan ham and cheese sandwich grilled between two slices of fluffy french toast. It was so good! We also shared an order of biscuits and gravy and then some fries. I ended up eating my entire meal, plus digging into the shared plates and continued to eat even more still! I was surprised with my appetite and ability to eat WAY more than anyone else at the table. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in myself. While I still had room in my stomach for more, I knew I had had enough once my plate was empty. But I just kept eating. I wanted more. I wanted to taste those rare flavors over and over again.
For the rest of the day, I managed to stay away from eating until dinner, which consisted of an all raw veggie salad followed by a small bowl of seasoned nuts and about two Tbsp almond butter rolled in cocoa powder (that was my dessert tick going off.) But throughout the day, I kept thinking about all those vegan comfort food meals I used to enjoy on a regular basis, and I started missing them. I could almost hear the forces arguing within me. One would say, "Oh, but you love vegan junk food! It's so good! And look, you felt fine afterward. You should eat like this more often." And the other voice would remind me, "I could never lose weight when I ate like that every day. I felt like crap. I felt heavy. I love the direction in which my new body is going. I love eating raw. I love eating light. I love feeling good and full of life force engery."
As I was preparing for bed, I started writing in my journal about my day and about my experience at Squid and Ink, working out reasons for why I ate so much more than every body else. I started thinking about the foods that inspire binging. I thought about the foods I can eat easily without over eating.
And then a lightbulb went off and everything made sense: I'm addicted to certain foods and tastes. Just like alcohol.
In April 2007, I quit drinking. I realized my drinking was out of control. It wasn't that I was a traditional alcoholic in the usual sense. I didn't need to drink every day, I didn't drink when I was alone. But when I did drink, I couldn't stop. I would keep drinking far beyond my limit until I became a different person. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated the person I became when drunk. I hated the mornings where I would wake up with no idea how the previous night ended. I was hurting myself and my boyfriend, Brian. I tried moderation and control but all my good intentions about how I would have "just one beer" would quickly fly out the door once that one beer was consumed and I would wind up with a wild night and horrible hangover. While I've never done anything too crazy in comparison with other people I know, my behavior while drinking is too crazy for me. I have high standards for myself and my bahavior. I know I am capable of controlling my behavior; I've proven it by quitting drinking. While I still get occasional cravings and temptations, I have so far stayed true to my word.
Last night, I made the connection between my problems with alcohol and my obsessive over eating. I'm a binger. Certain foods trigger binging and overeating. I will eat large portions of these food and eat them until I am far beyond full. Or I will eat a small serving and then constantly think about getting seconds until I do.
I took the first step, and admitted my problem.
First; the worst; sweets. All forms of sweets and sugar trigger binging. If I make an entire batch of cookies, I can never eat just one. Ever. If I make an entire raw cake, I need to eat slice after slice until I'm nauseous and physically can't eat more. If I eat a few pieces of chocolate or a few raisins, a couple minutes later I'm back in the kitchen for the other half of the bar or for an entire bowl of raisins. This category includes all sugars, raw or not, refined or natural, all pastries, raw desserts, sweet dried fruits, raw honey, and chocolate.
Next is fats. All things heavy and fatty have triggered binging. Nuts, being the easiest of fats for me to overeat, are also the hardest to give up because they are so much a part of the raw diet. But I have already experienced overeating with nuts the first time I went raw, and have seen the dangers. There are a lot of raw foodists who base the majority of their diet around nuts, especially newbies; people who need a lot of desserts and "raw gourmet" dishes in order to feel satisfied. If they find success and balance while doing so, then wonderful. More power to them. But I know I need balance. It's hard for me to eat just a small portion of nuts, nut pate, or nut dessert. I look back to last week when I ate "Raw soft tacos" made with cashew cheese, walnut meat, and topped with salsa and wrapped in a collard green. I would eat two very full tacos and follow them by two slices of raw cheesecake. It is so upsetting to look back on this because I already know that's not balanced. I've already gotten a kidney infection. Yet I ate this way for multiple days in a row, even after I was feeling heavy and dense. One of my main obstacles is learning how to make only what I can eat without overeating. Many raw recipes make large batches and as I am the only one in my house eating them, I have to eat as much as I can for days in a row until it's all gone so I don't waste anything. But if I am ever to eat nut-heavy recipes again, I MUST find a way to eat appropriate servings and balance my week by alternating with cleansing meals after the heavy meals. Always. No excuses.
Other fatty foods that trigger binging are olives, coconut oil, oil-heavy sauces, anything deep fried, and cheese or anything "cheesey," especially in the form of melted cheese, cheese and starch combo, or cheesy sauces. This includes vegan cheese and nut cheese as well. The only cheese I'm not sure of is raw goat cheese. Since I eat it so rarely and only as a component to a raw salad or as a small topping to another veggie dish, I don't think it triggers binging. But if I do continue to eat raw goat cheese, I will keep an eye on my reactions.
And the last category is Carbs/Starches/Grains. I can easily eat too much rice, bread, crackers, pita, potatoes, and mock meats. The foods I'm unsure of is lentils/tofu. I don't think I have ever experienced binging on beans or tofu unless they are components of a burrito, and in that case I end up eating too many. And I know that soy is supposedly highly mucus forming and inharmonious, according to Natalia rose, but I have a feeling that soy in the simple form of tofu (like in a tofu-veggie scramble) would be fine on occasion. While I still want my diet to be mainly raw, I also want to include the occasional cooked side dish.
Now onto the list of things I can eat safely without binging. This includes all raw vegetables, all greens, most fruits (as long as I only eat one at a time during the day and never for dessert), avacados, and cooked non-starch veggies. Foods I know I can handle with the proper awareness and portion control are sweet potatoes (only if I bake one at a time without sugar), brown rice (one cup allowance), sprouted grain bread (one or two slices at the most), raw goat cheese (not melted or combined with starches of any kind like crackers or tortillas), olives (just a few here and there on a salad), and goji berries (pre-measured as a snack.)
So this left me with a lot of questions. Questions about myself, about my eating patterns. About what I've read in my favorite books and what I've been told. I realize that there are a few things I agree with and a few things I don't, based on MY OWN experiences for MY SELF. I agree that raw food in the form of fruits and veggies are highly life enhancing and the best for the body. I do NOT agree that you can eat as much raw food in the form of nuts and seeds and oils in any combination and in any amount. I believe you CAN include nuts, seeds, and oils in a diet but only if your portions are balanced and kept lower in proportion to your amount of fresh, raw greens and veggies in the meal. I believe that you can enjoy dessert in healthier forms but I DO NOT agree that you can eat as much dessert as you want, guilt free, in any form raw or not. All desserts and sweets should be eaten with awareness and balance and not become routine. If you are like me, and you obesessively need to eat dessert every night after dinner, then you should abstain from dessert at least until you no longer feel you need it. Because, being honest, you don't. It's fun and delicious and a wonderful treat, but if it is making you feel like crap or you are obsessing over sweets, or you are eating more than you know is necessary, than it is harming your mentality and in turn, your life force engergy.
So where does this leave me now? Well, I thought about moderation. I could cut back on nuts, eat dessert only a few days here and there. But has that ever worked with other addictive substances? Did moderation work for me when I was an obsessive over-drinker? No. The only thing that has ever helped me overcome an addiction is to give it up completely. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm undertaking a new experiement. I'm designing my OWN diet, based on common sense about my own needs. My first step is to rid my body of these addictive foods. All of them. It will be my initial detox. While I can't imagine abstaining from nuts and dessert forever, I'm thinking I will "detox" for at least two weeks, but I am aiming for 21 days, maybe even one month. As this is my own experiement, I will take it day by day, keep note of how I feel, and adjust as neccesary. If I no longer crave dessert after two weeks, then I'll know I'm ready to include some sweets like dried fruits or a piece of chocolate. Or maybe once I'm free from my dessert obsession, I'll want to stay away for even longer. I KNOW abstaining from dessert and gaining freedom in this way will help because I've done it before. I remember when I went to Europe, I felt the best on the days when I didn't eat sweets. Most of the time, I didn't even have access to any vegan sweets to begin with. It wasn't until I got home and got back into baking when I starting eating desserts compulsively again.
So I am excited about this new path in my journey. I don't know how it will go in the long run. Maybe, just maybe, I've discovered something extraordinary for myself. Today is day one of the Addiction Free Diet.
Let's see how it goes!
First, a recap of my meal: I met up with my vegan friend, Brandi (who now lives in Denver) and a few of our other friends at Squid and Ink. It was full of delicious smells and memories of fried, greasy, delicious, warm comfort food. I was torn between ordering something light and simple or ordering something heavy and tempting since my visits to Squid are few and far between. I committed to ordering salad as my side instead of fries, and then decided upon the fatty, heavy dish, Monte Cristo, which is a vegan ham and cheese sandwich grilled between two slices of fluffy french toast. It was so good! We also shared an order of biscuits and gravy and then some fries. I ended up eating my entire meal, plus digging into the shared plates and continued to eat even more still! I was surprised with my appetite and ability to eat WAY more than anyone else at the table. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed in myself. While I still had room in my stomach for more, I knew I had had enough once my plate was empty. But I just kept eating. I wanted more. I wanted to taste those rare flavors over and over again.
For the rest of the day, I managed to stay away from eating until dinner, which consisted of an all raw veggie salad followed by a small bowl of seasoned nuts and about two Tbsp almond butter rolled in cocoa powder (that was my dessert tick going off.) But throughout the day, I kept thinking about all those vegan comfort food meals I used to enjoy on a regular basis, and I started missing them. I could almost hear the forces arguing within me. One would say, "Oh, but you love vegan junk food! It's so good! And look, you felt fine afterward. You should eat like this more often." And the other voice would remind me, "I could never lose weight when I ate like that every day. I felt like crap. I felt heavy. I love the direction in which my new body is going. I love eating raw. I love eating light. I love feeling good and full of life force engery."
As I was preparing for bed, I started writing in my journal about my day and about my experience at Squid and Ink, working out reasons for why I ate so much more than every body else. I started thinking about the foods that inspire binging. I thought about the foods I can eat easily without over eating.
And then a lightbulb went off and everything made sense: I'm addicted to certain foods and tastes. Just like alcohol.
In April 2007, I quit drinking. I realized my drinking was out of control. It wasn't that I was a traditional alcoholic in the usual sense. I didn't need to drink every day, I didn't drink when I was alone. But when I did drink, I couldn't stop. I would keep drinking far beyond my limit until I became a different person. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I hated the person I became when drunk. I hated the mornings where I would wake up with no idea how the previous night ended. I was hurting myself and my boyfriend, Brian. I tried moderation and control but all my good intentions about how I would have "just one beer" would quickly fly out the door once that one beer was consumed and I would wind up with a wild night and horrible hangover. While I've never done anything too crazy in comparison with other people I know, my behavior while drinking is too crazy for me. I have high standards for myself and my bahavior. I know I am capable of controlling my behavior; I've proven it by quitting drinking. While I still get occasional cravings and temptations, I have so far stayed true to my word.
Last night, I made the connection between my problems with alcohol and my obsessive over eating. I'm a binger. Certain foods trigger binging and overeating. I will eat large portions of these food and eat them until I am far beyond full. Or I will eat a small serving and then constantly think about getting seconds until I do.
I took the first step, and admitted my problem.
First; the worst; sweets. All forms of sweets and sugar trigger binging. If I make an entire batch of cookies, I can never eat just one. Ever. If I make an entire raw cake, I need to eat slice after slice until I'm nauseous and physically can't eat more. If I eat a few pieces of chocolate or a few raisins, a couple minutes later I'm back in the kitchen for the other half of the bar or for an entire bowl of raisins. This category includes all sugars, raw or not, refined or natural, all pastries, raw desserts, sweet dried fruits, raw honey, and chocolate.
Next is fats. All things heavy and fatty have triggered binging. Nuts, being the easiest of fats for me to overeat, are also the hardest to give up because they are so much a part of the raw diet. But I have already experienced overeating with nuts the first time I went raw, and have seen the dangers. There are a lot of raw foodists who base the majority of their diet around nuts, especially newbies; people who need a lot of desserts and "raw gourmet" dishes in order to feel satisfied. If they find success and balance while doing so, then wonderful. More power to them. But I know I need balance. It's hard for me to eat just a small portion of nuts, nut pate, or nut dessert. I look back to last week when I ate "Raw soft tacos" made with cashew cheese, walnut meat, and topped with salsa and wrapped in a collard green. I would eat two very full tacos and follow them by two slices of raw cheesecake. It is so upsetting to look back on this because I already know that's not balanced. I've already gotten a kidney infection. Yet I ate this way for multiple days in a row, even after I was feeling heavy and dense. One of my main obstacles is learning how to make only what I can eat without overeating. Many raw recipes make large batches and as I am the only one in my house eating them, I have to eat as much as I can for days in a row until it's all gone so I don't waste anything. But if I am ever to eat nut-heavy recipes again, I MUST find a way to eat appropriate servings and balance my week by alternating with cleansing meals after the heavy meals. Always. No excuses.
Other fatty foods that trigger binging are olives, coconut oil, oil-heavy sauces, anything deep fried, and cheese or anything "cheesey," especially in the form of melted cheese, cheese and starch combo, or cheesy sauces. This includes vegan cheese and nut cheese as well. The only cheese I'm not sure of is raw goat cheese. Since I eat it so rarely and only as a component to a raw salad or as a small topping to another veggie dish, I don't think it triggers binging. But if I do continue to eat raw goat cheese, I will keep an eye on my reactions.
And the last category is Carbs/Starches/Grains. I can easily eat too much rice, bread, crackers, pita, potatoes, and mock meats. The foods I'm unsure of is lentils/tofu. I don't think I have ever experienced binging on beans or tofu unless they are components of a burrito, and in that case I end up eating too many. And I know that soy is supposedly highly mucus forming and inharmonious, according to Natalia rose, but I have a feeling that soy in the simple form of tofu (like in a tofu-veggie scramble) would be fine on occasion. While I still want my diet to be mainly raw, I also want to include the occasional cooked side dish.
Now onto the list of things I can eat safely without binging. This includes all raw vegetables, all greens, most fruits (as long as I only eat one at a time during the day and never for dessert), avacados, and cooked non-starch veggies. Foods I know I can handle with the proper awareness and portion control are sweet potatoes (only if I bake one at a time without sugar), brown rice (one cup allowance), sprouted grain bread (one or two slices at the most), raw goat cheese (not melted or combined with starches of any kind like crackers or tortillas), olives (just a few here and there on a salad), and goji berries (pre-measured as a snack.)
So this left me with a lot of questions. Questions about myself, about my eating patterns. About what I've read in my favorite books and what I've been told. I realize that there are a few things I agree with and a few things I don't, based on MY OWN experiences for MY SELF. I agree that raw food in the form of fruits and veggies are highly life enhancing and the best for the body. I do NOT agree that you can eat as much raw food in the form of nuts and seeds and oils in any combination and in any amount. I believe you CAN include nuts, seeds, and oils in a diet but only if your portions are balanced and kept lower in proportion to your amount of fresh, raw greens and veggies in the meal. I believe that you can enjoy dessert in healthier forms but I DO NOT agree that you can eat as much dessert as you want, guilt free, in any form raw or not. All desserts and sweets should be eaten with awareness and balance and not become routine. If you are like me, and you obesessively need to eat dessert every night after dinner, then you should abstain from dessert at least until you no longer feel you need it. Because, being honest, you don't. It's fun and delicious and a wonderful treat, but if it is making you feel like crap or you are obsessing over sweets, or you are eating more than you know is necessary, than it is harming your mentality and in turn, your life force engergy.
So where does this leave me now? Well, I thought about moderation. I could cut back on nuts, eat dessert only a few days here and there. But has that ever worked with other addictive substances? Did moderation work for me when I was an obsessive over-drinker? No. The only thing that has ever helped me overcome an addiction is to give it up completely. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm undertaking a new experiement. I'm designing my OWN diet, based on common sense about my own needs. My first step is to rid my body of these addictive foods. All of them. It will be my initial detox. While I can't imagine abstaining from nuts and dessert forever, I'm thinking I will "detox" for at least two weeks, but I am aiming for 21 days, maybe even one month. As this is my own experiement, I will take it day by day, keep note of how I feel, and adjust as neccesary. If I no longer crave dessert after two weeks, then I'll know I'm ready to include some sweets like dried fruits or a piece of chocolate. Or maybe once I'm free from my dessert obsession, I'll want to stay away for even longer. I KNOW abstaining from dessert and gaining freedom in this way will help because I've done it before. I remember when I went to Europe, I felt the best on the days when I didn't eat sweets. Most of the time, I didn't even have access to any vegan sweets to begin with. It wasn't until I got home and got back into baking when I starting eating desserts compulsively again.
So I am excited about this new path in my journey. I don't know how it will go in the long run. Maybe, just maybe, I've discovered something extraordinary for myself. Today is day one of the Addiction Free Diet.
Let's see how it goes!
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